Debra: Guess what Debra just told me.
Frank: To come in here and flap your gums when there's two minutes left in the game.
Ray: Some kid's been bullying Ally.
Robert: What are you talking about? Who? Who is it? Who's doing it?
Ray: I don't know. I don't know. Some older kid's picking on her, calling her names.
Robert: Oh, boy. Well, at least Ally's name doesn't rhyme with anything bathroom related. Unless... No, no, you're clear.

Robert: Deb, what's this about Ally being picked on?
Debra: She's fine. It's just some boy on her bus.
Robert: A boy?
Frank: All right. Let's get him.
Ray: Wait, what what do you mean?
Frank: We'll figure something out in the car. Let's roll.
Robert: Yeah, I can run a check to see if the family has any outstanding warrants.
Debra: Ray.
Ray: Can't we even run a check?
Debra: Listen, that's really nice, but you guys don't have to saddle up and form a posse.

Ray: Debra doesn't get it.
Debra: What? What don't I get?
Frank: What it's like to be picked on.
Robert: Oh, yeah, you were popular.
Ray: Yeah, we know what a big deal this is to Ally 'cause we went though it. Especially on the bus.
Robert: Oh, the bus. Wedgies, wet willies.
Frank: Who's Wet Willie?
Robert: They would wet their finger and stick it in your ear. It was chilly. [Frank attempts to do so] Hey, get away from that there! You're supposed to warn me when he's next to me.

Ray: Hey, Ally, waiting for the bus?
Ally: Yeah.
Ray: I didn't get a chance to say have a good day before, you know, with Mommy all around. So, I thought I'd come out here. So, have a good day, there.
Ally: Okay.
Ray: Hey, who is this? Todd Feeney?
Ally: No.
Ray: This Todd Feeney?
Ally: No.
Ray: Now that I'm all the way out here, why don't I wait for the bus with you?
Ally: Yeah.
Ray: Okay. Great, good. Waiting for the old school bus. I remember this. A long time ago, though. I remember waiting for the bus to be invented. [silence] That's how long ago that was. You know what else I remember as a kid? That not all the kids were nice.
Ally: Bye, Daddy.
Ray: Wait, Ally. I wanted to also tell you that- Okay, bye, Ally. Have fun. I love you.

Ray: [to boy playing a video game] So, another day, huh? Another day, right? Yeah, school sucks. Like math. Give me a break. When are you ever gonna use that? How 'bout never? Hey, do you know which kid is Todd Feeney? Hello. Look, how 'bout I give you a dollar if you tell me which one Todd is? [the boy points to a kid] Okay. Thank you. [to a girl] You had your chance, missy.
[Ray walks over to the boy]
Todd Feeney: Did you fail the sixth grade like a thousand times or something? [laughter]
Ray: No.

Ray: Okay, well, thanks for letting me ride along. Kinda wish there had been some bullying so I could have put a stop to it.
Dottie: Oh, she would never do anything with you on the bus.
Ray: She? No, I'm talking about Todd Feeney.
Dottie: Todd Feeney? All he's ever done is defend his little sister Judy.
Ray: What?
Dottie: Ally's been picking on Judy Feeney.
Ray: Ally? My Ally? Ally Barone?
Dottie: Yeah.
Ray: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This one? The little ballerina here?
Dottie: Yeah, yeah. They're all angels.
Ray: Are you sure that it's Ally making the trouble? 'Cause if you're looking in that mirror, everything's reversed.

Dottie: Judy Feeney wears these big thick glasses and your little Ally says she looks like an owl.
Ray: Okay, well...
Dottie: So she, uh, hoots at her. And she goes "Judy Hooty, she's got cooties."
Ray: Oh.
Dottie: The kids like to find a word that rhymes with someone's name. And when they do, they just never let up.
Ray: I know, I know.

Ray: The bus driver, take an interest. Anyway, she told me that Ally has been picking on this little girl with big glasses, calling her an owl. "Judy Hooty." Rhyming.
Debra: Huh.
Ray: That's your reaction to your daughter's a bully, huh?
Debra: No, it's not right and I'll talk to her.
Ray: That's it? You seem pretty laissez-faire about this.
Debra: Laissez-faire? She's just being a kid. That's what kids do, honey.
Ray: No, not all kids. Not me, not Robert, not little Judy Hooty, who's been accused of having cooties.
Debra: I think you're overreacting.
Ray: I don't think you know your daughter. Yeah, yeah, cute little face, blonde hair. That's her cover! Right, she seems harmless, okay, yeah. She's like the fish that disguises itself as a rock, you know, and then you swim by... blaugh!

Debra: Listen, I know the idea of being independent is very different than the way your mother raised you.
Ray: Hey, hey, hey, never mind what my mother did, okay? At least I didn't turn out pushy and mean like...
Debra: What? Me? You think I'm pushy and mean?
Ray: You want to push me right now, don't you?
Debra: Yeah, you'd probably tattle.
Ray: Boy, I'll tell you. Good thing we didn't know each other when we were little. I wouldn't have liked you.
Debra: I wouldn't have liked you either, okay?
Ray: Yeah, standing in your little groups at school making fun of the kid whose mom showed up with his snowpants.
Debra: [laughs] Snowpants!
Ray: There was a good chance of snow!

Ray: See, you're bringing Ally into the family business. Debra Barone's Ass Kicking Incorporated! Pushing people down since 1972!
Debra: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's better than working at Ray's House of Wuss. You want her to be totally dependent on you.
Ray: No, I don't!
Debra: You rode her bus today!
Ray: Yeah, you taught her to be self-confident and now she's hanging kids out the bus window by their ankles.