Ray: All right. Stop it, will you? How can you keep doing this?
Marie: What do you mean? We're having breakfast.
Ray: Do you hear yourselves?
Frank: Why are you yelling? We're having a conversation.
Ray: No, you're not. This is not a conversation. It's bickering. That's all you do.
Frank: Who are you to tell us what we do? Leave us alone. The next time you want to dance, give me notice so I can kill myself.
Marie: Good. I'll dance on your grave.

Ray: Let me ask you something. They're, like, happy in there, aren't they?
Robert: What do you mean?
Ray: I mean, they're, like, happy the way they are.
Robert: Yeah. Of course they're happy. Thank God. Otherwise living here would be very stressful. [touches chip to chin and eats it]

[voiceovers as we see Ray and Debra as a younger Frank and Marie:]
Marie: And I remember Frank and I were just like you two. Everything was normal. We'd had our differences. But this was the day I realized the man I married had no respect for me whatsoever.
Frank: Don't make this a production, Marie.
Marie: I remember, I'd been cooking all day and you were taking your own sweet time coming down for dinner. When I think of how many times I yelled, "Frank!" A nice pot roast, little red potatoes, carrots cooked in the sauce. Before he even tasted a bite, he had the nerve to ask me for salt.
Frank: Salt gives it taste.
Marie: That roast had taste. It had oregano, garlic, paprika. He wouldn't even try it!
Frank: It's my house! I'm allowed to have salt if I want!
Marie: Even if it destroys another person?

Ray: God, all this time I thought my parents ruined my life. It turns out I ruined theirs.
Debra: You didn't ruin theirs. They got back together because of you.
Ray: Right! They could've stayed apart met other people, led happy, fulfilling lives.
Debra: Your parents?
Ray: They were different then. Didn't you hear my mom? Back then, they were just like you and me.
Debra: Yeah. That was the worst part of that story.
Marie: Debra, dear, the guests are dipping their cups into the punch bowl since there's no ladle. ls that how you intended it?
Debra: I'll get a ladle. [to Ray] And they all lived happily ever after.

Ray: It's more than that.
Debra: What, we're on to something worse?
Ray: Yes.
Debra: What are we having tonight, Ray?
Ray: I don't know. What if you and me...
Debra: What?
Ray: What if we end up like my parents, staying together just for the kids?
Debra: That would never happen, because I would take the kids. And the house.

Debra: They're not stuck. I mean, come on, think about it. There has to be a reason other than you why that marriage has lasted 40 years. Got to be another reason.
Ray: Yeah. What might that be?
Debra: Spite.

Marie: Did you see how your father behaved yesterday?
Frank: There was nothing wrong with me, and it's my house!
Marie: That gives you the right to unbuckle your pants in front of people?
Frank: What people? It's Lee and Stan. And Maxine thought that was hysterical.
Marie: You're impossible.
Frank: What about you? Wanting to dance.
Marie: It was a party.
Frank: Yes! People are eating. Exactly why you shouldn't dance.

Marie: How are the eggs?
Frank: Hmm, they're good. Could use some more.
Marie: Okay. [to Ray] You want some eggs, honey? Sit down.
Frank: Where are the peppers?
Marie: Ah, no peppers. You always ask for peppers, and then you get heartburn.
Frank: It's not from the peppers!

Ray: [sings] Down came the rain and washed the spider out Out came the sun dried up all the rain The itsy, bitsy spider went up the spout again [talks] I love that spider. You know, they could be fussing and crying you start singing that song, it's musical chloroform.
Debra: That's great, Ray. Look at this. You told me you took care of the car guy. Got another bill from him. And the pediatrician is still sending us the bill because you haven't contacted the insurance agency.
Ray: [sings] The itsy bitsy spider...
Debra: Look, Ray. I only asked you to do a couple of things.
Ray: Down came the rain [Ray stops singing as Debra falls silent]
Debra: ls it so difficult...
Ray: Washed the spider out
Debra: Just next time-
Ray: Frere Jacques

All: Surprise!
Marie: Look, Frank, a party!
Frank: Holy crap!