Debra: Tomorrow night, I want you to come with me. There's a potluck dinner where all the parents get to meet the people running for office.
Ray: No no, I'm not crazy about people.
Debra: Are you crazy about me?

Debra: I don't have a chance.
Ray: What, against Parker? I don't know. That guy, he's all with the blond hair and the teeth. We get it, all right? We got it.
Debra: Look at you. Did you even shave today?
Ray: What? Yeah, this morning.
Debra: You're all stubbly. Come over here. Look at your shirt. Tuck this in.
Ray: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What? Come on. Why?
Debra: Your appearance reflects on me. Look how Carrie Parker is dressed.
Ray: Sorry. I didn't know I was gonna be first lady.

Ray: Hey, anybody see the tenderloin?
Man: It's all gone.
Ray: Wha- Already? Oh, these people are animals. Look at this. Crackers.
Woman: Yeah.
Ray: What's this?
Woman: Tabbouleh.
Ray: I gotta tell you, if I saw this on the floor, I'd rub my dog's nose in it.
Woman: I made the tabbouleh.
Ray: Hi, I'm Bill Parker.

Marie: Hello, Raymond.
Ray: Ma, what are you doing?
Marie: I'm taking water to the children.
Ray: I said no more water!
Marie: All right, Raymond. But I would never deny my children water.
Frank: Well, Robert, I guess that explains your bed-wetting problem.

Ray: You lost?
Debra: Yeah. Bill Parker is the new Our Lady of Faith Elementary School Governing Board President.
Ray: Wow, Deb, I'm sorry. That stinks.
Robert: Stinks? It's an outrage. You were born to be the Our Lady of Faith Elementary School Governing Board President.

Robert: Why don't you demand a recount? Maybe there was funny business going on with the ballots.
Debra: No.
Robert: That goes on.
Debra: No, Mrs. Wendell, the librarian, she was keeping a pretty close watch on the shoeboxes.
Robert: Mrs. Wendell. I remember her. "The books are late! The books are late!"

Debra: You think it's good that I lost by more than one vote?
Ray: No. I mean, well, kinda, only because if you lost by one vote, then that would be heartbreaking.
Debra: Yes, it would be heartbreaking. Ray, who did you vote for? [Ray is silent] Ray?
Ray: What? What?
Debra: Who did you vote for?
Ray: [sighs]
Robert: Oh, boy.
Marie: We should go.
Frank: I'm right behind ya.

Ray: What? What? Where are you going?
Marie: It's none of our business.
Ray: Since when? You think everything's your business!
Marie: Usually I'd stay and defend you, but voting against your wife?
Frank: You're a dead man.
Robert: I don't know what to say, but, Deb, if you wanna talk... And you!

Ray: I hate Bill Parker the man, but I just thought that Bill Parker the candidate had an interesting platform.
Debra: Oh, shut up. I'm your wife. I don't care if my platform was anti-puppy. You have to vote for me.
Ray: But doesn't it say in the Constitution-
Debra: I don't care what it says. You vote for your wife! And since when do you know what it says in the Constitution?
Ray: I'm not gonna stand here and let you badmouth America.
Debra: You voted against me.
Ray: I didn't vote against you. I love you. I just voted not for you. I was protecting you.
Debra: Protecting me from what?
Ray: Political backstabbing. When you're a political figure, you're at the mercy of the people, and the people, they're horrible. They stare at your caboose.

Debra: I'm sorry.
Ray: I'm sorry, too. I should have voted for you.
Debra: And I should have told people I know you.
Ray: I was acting jerky.
Debra: I know l- I guess I just got carried away, you know, with the possibility of being the Our Lady of Faith Elementary School Governing Board President.
Ray: Well, listen, all that power, it's like a drug.