Ray: What are you doing?
Debra: What?
Ray: You got a million single loser friends, and you gotta invite my sworn enemy?
Debra: Just because Peggy's a strong woman and doesn't take any crap. Get over it. And by the way, this is not about what's best for you. This is about what is best for Peter.
Ray: I know, and what's best for Peter is not to go out with a she-beast who once tried to beat me up.
Debra: Ray, I was there. She did beat you up.

Robert: I got it. Nobody move. It's going swimmingly. [opens door] Agh!
Stefania: Hello, Roberto.
Robert: [high-pitched] Stefania.
Debra: Stefania?
Robert: Well, what are you doing here?
Stefania: Is tonight not the party?
Robert: No. No, it is. It's just you're Stefania.
Amy: Don't be rude, Robert. I invited her.
Robert: But why her?
Amy: Well, why not her? She's nice and single.
Robert: But she's my Stefania. I mean... I mean, she's my ex-Stefania. No. No, I mean you're my Stefania now. Baby. I need a drink.

Ray: Peter, did you know that Peggy beat me up once?
Debra: Ray.
Peter: What?
Ray: Yeah, real bad.
Peggy: Will you please just get over that?
Ray: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you see that? You gotta watch the temper on that one, Peter.
Debra: No, you don't. Look, they got in an argument one time that was a little heated.
Frank: I think it's hilarious that you beat Ray up, 'cause you're a girl.
Peggy: Well, listen, it wasn't easy. I mean, Ray is quite a girl himself. [all laugh, particularly Robert]
Peter: Hey, she's funny.
Ray: No, no, no.
Peggy: Are you finished sticking your nose into our conversation, or does that thing just get stuck in every conversation?

Debra: Oh, Hank and Pat.
Hank: Hi, Debra. Hi, Ray.
Debra: I didn't know you guys were in town.
Hank: Yes, Amy and Robert are taking us sightseeing.
Robert: Yeah, gonna show 'em the Big Apple, and get away from Mom and Dad for five hours.

Ray: Okay, all right, I guess I can stop by on my way to church.
Pat: Thank you, Ray.
Ray: Okay.
Pat: And, Robert, we still need you to be our tour guide.
Hank: Off to the city. Tight grip on that purse, Mother. [Amy, Hank & Pat leave]
Robert: Maybe when you're done with Peter, you can heal a leper.

Debra: Well, you know what? Why don't you tell Peter to come Friday night?
Ray: No, we don't want him over here.
Debra: No, listen. I'll just invite a bunch of my single friends. We'll have a cocktail party and I'll match him up.
Ray: A cocktail party? No, no, no. I'm not putting on a tuxedo and walking around all night going, "Cheerio, guv'nor." No, forget it. Cocktail party. You want a cocktail party? Have a couple drinks, and when I'm done, I'll swing by and maybe you'll get lucky. [exits]
Debra: Maybe I'll meet somebody at the party.

Peter: Welcome to "Peter's Apartment of Comics".
Ray: Thanks. Thanks. How's business?
Peter: Not good. No, most of my customer base is still in Pennsylvania, and they can't get their moms to drive 'em here.

Peter: I'm so excited you're here. Come on in. This is terrific.
Ray: Well, yeah, I can't can't stay too long. Ally's got a thing, and the twins got this other thing.

Robert: Why couldn't you just hire a bartender? The girl over there wanted a Singapore Sling. I don't know what the hell that is. I'm not Asian.
Ray: Well, would you rather have Amy's job keeping Mom occupied over there, watching a three-hour opera video? Yeah, I didn't think so, all right? So just mix some drinks, or I'll demote you to coat rack.
Robert: I'll be making you a "saliva" Colada.

Debra: Um, Ray? Who are those women you invited?
Ray: That's, uh... It's Andy's sister and Robert's friend from the morgue, yeah. What?
Debra: They just don't seem very outgoing.
Ray: Well, I can't wait for the party animals from your book club to show up.