Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Tonya was planning on staying up, Drew was planning on taking her down.
Tonya: [sings] I've got a crush on you
Drew: I don't know why you're singing. You know you're going to fall asleep before the Jets come on. You never make it past 10:00.
Tonya: I bet you I do tonight.
Drew: I bet you don't.
Tonya: How much?
Drew: If you fall asleep, you owe me 20 bucks.
Tonya: And if you fall asleep, I'm going to glue your hand to your face.
Drew: I don't see how since you won't have money for glue.

Tonya: There won't be a next time with me. I'm taking the other girls and we're starting our own group.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Called TMA. Too Much Attitude.

Tonya: I'm going to bury you in the sand at low tide if you don't shut up.
Drew: Nobody wants to go on this stupid trip besides you.

Tonya: Hey, Daddy, can I get my hair done at Nessa's for graduation?
Julius: Sure, baby.
Tonya: Can I get a new dress too?
Rochelle: You don't need a new dress. You can wear your church dress.
Tonya: But I wore that for Easter. If I wear it for graduation, I'll look back at the pictures, won't know what I'm remembering.
Rochelle: You'll remember that we couldn't afford to buy you two dresses.
Chris: Plus, in one of the pictures, you'll be holding the chocolate bunny. [kisses Rochelle] Love you. Good night.

Tonya: Why do you watch soap operas, anyway?
Julius: What?
Tonya: Isn't daytime TV for women?
Julius: Um... We'll talk about that another time. All right?
Tonya: Okay.

Chris: I have a date to the Homecoming Dance.
Tonya: A date? What's wrong with her?
Chris: Nothing. Her name's Jenise, and she lives in Park Slope.
Rochelle: Park Slope? That's expensive. And she goes to your school?
Tonya: I told you there was something wrong with her. She's retarded.
Julius: Your brother's date is not retarded.
Drew: Well, she could be, but there's different levels. She could be a moron, an imbecile, an idiot or a cretin. Morons have the highest IQ of the mentally retarded, so if something's wrong with her, you may not notice at first.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like the first time you watch Bill O'Reilly.

Girl #1: Hey, Drew.
Drew: Hi.
Girl #1: What are you watching?
Drew: Duel of the Iron Fist.
Girl #2: Ooh, I like Duel of the Iron Fist.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Liar.
Girl #3: Want to watch?
Tonya: No, that's all right.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That day, my sister learned something I already knew. When it came to Drew, you could kiss your girlfriends good-bye.