Risky Quotes   Page 2 of 4    

Quote from Everybody Hates Funerals

Mr. Harris: I left a whole load of sloppies in the kitchen for you guys.
Julius: Thank you.
Rochelle: Thank you.
Mr. Harris: Chris, I got a new video game at the store.
Chris: Okay.
Risky: Next time someone dies, let me know. I'll get you a good deal on a casket.
Julius: Man, what is your problem?

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Quote from Everybody Hates Eggs

Risky: Teach this baby the difference between the knockoffs and the real thing. For instance, "Gucci" does not have an "H" in it.

Quote from Everybody Hates Fake IDs

Risky: Fake ID? Why would I know anything about where to get a fake ID?
Chris: Because you operate on the fringes of the law.
Jerome: Hey, man, just because somebody's name is Risky, and they operate on the fringes of the law, does not mean they break the law.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yes, it does.
James: Yeah, man. Using fake IDs could get y'all in serious trouble. If I wasn't underage, who knows where I'd be now?
Chris: So do you or don't you?
Risky: Oh, hey, man, I think I see Run-DMC outside!
Greg: I don't see anybody.
Risky: Well, maybe you should go out there and make sure it wasn't them.
Chris: Make sure who wasn't them?
James: Man, would you just go outside so he can tell you where to get the ID? Man, you slow.
Risky: Forget it. Forget it. Go to this address, and tell them you want a passport photo.
Greg: Passport photo?
James: That's code for "fake ID." Y'all slow.

Quote from Everybody Hates Baseball

Risky: Go to the game. My father never took me 'cause I was a test tube baby. Want some peanuts?

Quote from Everybody Hates New Year's Eve

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since Greg didn't come through in the clutch, I decided to see who could come through on the block. I tried Risky.
Chris: My mom said if I can find a responsible adult to take me I can go down to Times Square.
Risky: Aw, sorry, man, I can't. I've got to deliver some time-sensitive products.
Chris: What type of products?
Risky: [chuckles] 1986 calendars.

Quote from Everybody Hates Jail

Chris: Hey, Risky, you want to buy a box of cookies?
Risky: Hey, youngblood, I don't buy, I sell. You want to buy a VCR?
Chris: No, thanks.
Risky: Hey. You need a VCR?
Man: I got one already.
Risky: Fell off the truck this morning.
Man: Really? I'll take two.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I never realized the only stuff that sold on the street in my neighborhood was stolen stuff.

Quote from Everybody Hates Father's Day

Chris: Hey, Risky?
Risky: Hold up, little man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had looked for a gift everywhere I could, so I decided to look somewhere I shouldn't look.
Chris: So, what kind of stuff do you have for Father's Day?
Risky: Father's Day? That ain't a big one for me. You know there ain't none but four fathers in the neighborhood. Now, Mother's Day, I had a whole bunch of stuff.

Quote from Everybody Hates Elections

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was was debating Caruso, my brother was debating what to buy with the ten dollars he found.
Risky: Hey, young blood, what's happening?
Drew: Hey, Risky. Hey, man, what you got for ten dollars?
Risky: Ten dollars? I got this leopard hat.
Drew: Nah, I want something cool.
Risky: Cooler than a leopard hat?
Drew: Yeah.
Risky: Okay, okay, okay. Uh... Uh-huh. How about an Olympic torch? Olympic torch right here. And that's from this year's Summer Olympics.
Drew: And how'd you get it?
Risky: Mary Lou Retton, man. Are you buying or are you asking questions?

Quote from Everybody Hates the Buddy System

Julius: What I really need is a hockey jersey for Drew. Wayne Gretzky.
Risky: Hockey? What kind of kids you raising?
Julius: Do you have one or not?
Risky: All right, all right. Hockey, uh... I'm sorry, I- I don't have anything, but if I find something, I'll let you know. All right, brother. All right. Okay. Take care. [to himself] Hockey? Them kids in trouble.

Quote from Everybody Hates Math

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because of the crack trade, it was a lot harder for Risky to make money on the streets. He couldn't make money on electronics.
[fantasy: Risky is selling electronics out of the back of his van:]
Risky: This is a brand new VCR. $30.
Electronics Crackhead: I'll sell you 30 for $1.
[fantasy: Risky is selling clothes in the salon:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He couldn't make money on clothes.
Pam: This is nice.
Risky: It's real leather, $50.
Leather Crackhead: I'll sell this one to you for a $1.50.
[fantasy: Risky is manning an ice cream truck:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He couldn't even make money on food.
Risky: One Bomb Pop. Two dollars.
Kill Moves: Sell you a lick for a nickel.

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