Chris Quote #317
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Caruso
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Caruso lost a fight to the new champ. But I figured he couldn't resist a fight with the old chump.
Chris: What is wrong with you?
Joey Caruso: Let go of me. What's wrong with you?
Chris: You're what's wrong with me, walking around here like a sad Richie Cunningham. You should be kicking some serious butt.
Joey Caruso: What are you talking about?
Chris: Yao kicked the crap out of you. You're just gonna take it?
Joey Caruso: What do you expect?
Chris: Well, maybe you can't beat him, but you can beat me. I mean, come on, punch me, kick me, push me on the ground, something.
Joey Caruso: Have you lost your mind?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yes.
Chris: Have you lost your mind? Call me Stymie, Rochester, Tootsie Roll, Inkwell. Come on, man!
Joey Caruso: What are you doing?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Prompting an angry call from Bill Cosby.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Caruso’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Bernard Yao: I'm failing math. I got work to do. I don't have time for this.
Chris: Wait, you're not good at math?
Bernard Yao: What, just because I'm Asian, I have to be good in math? You're Black, can you moonwalk?
Chris: I didn't mean it like that. And, no, I can't moonwalk.
Bernard Yao: So, I can't use chopsticks.
Chris: I don't like watermelon.
Bernard Yao: I can't make a swan out of paper.
Chris: I don't have sickle cell anemia.
Bernard Yao: I don't own a dry cleaners.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I bet you like rice.
Quote from Julius
Rochelle: Baby, get some rest. Pay attention to your health for a change.
Julius: There's nothing wrong with my health.
Rochelle: You got the gout, high blood pressure, arthritis, a bad back, the sniffles, an ingrown toenail, seborrhea, psoriasis, a strained ligament, dyspepsia and gastric reflux.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother was making a lot of sense. Unfortunately, all my father heard was...
[fantasy:]
Rochelle: You got the light bill, the gas bill, the phone bill, the heat bill, the water bill, car note, taxes, insurance, food, rent, clothes, heating, cooling, washing, drying...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother thought it was work that gave my father stress. But she was wrong. It was debt.
Quote from Julius
Drew: Man, I wish I could take a week off. I need a vacation.
Julius: What for? You're a kid. Your whole life's a vacation. This is a waste of time. I should be working.
Rochelle: You got five paid vacation days. Paid, Julius.
Julius: Yeah, but they're paying me for a 40-hour week. I average close to 70. If you think about it, I'm actually losing money.
Rochelle: Then don't think about it.