Chris Quote #316
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Caruso
Chris: When Yao beat up Caruso, it threw the whole school out of whack.
Greg: What do you mean?
Chris: The school is like The Godfather. There's a hierarchy, and on top is Don Corleone. But in our case, Don Caruso.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Caruso was the toughest kid in school. No one dared challenge his authority. Almost everybody hated Caruso, but a lot of kids envied him. They wanted to be him, but were too scared to do anything about it. When Caruso was out of the way, the school was up for grabs. It was going to be a bloodbath, and I knew that unless I did something it was going to be my blood.
Greg: Dude, how do you know all this?
Chris: When you spend a lot of time in dark lockers you think about things.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I started writing my first HBO Special in a locker.
Greg: So what do we do now?
Chris: We got to put Caruso back in power.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Caruso’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Bernard Yao: I'm failing math. I got work to do. I don't have time for this.
Chris: Wait, you're not good at math?
Bernard Yao: What, just because I'm Asian, I have to be good in math? You're Black, can you moonwalk?
Chris: I didn't mean it like that. And, no, I can't moonwalk.
Bernard Yao: So, I can't use chopsticks.
Chris: I don't like watermelon.
Bernard Yao: I can't make a swan out of paper.
Chris: I don't have sickle cell anemia.
Bernard Yao: I don't own a dry cleaners.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I bet you like rice.
Quote from Julius
Rochelle: Baby, get some rest. Pay attention to your health for a change.
Julius: There's nothing wrong with my health.
Rochelle: You got the gout, high blood pressure, arthritis, a bad back, the sniffles, an ingrown toenail, seborrhea, psoriasis, a strained ligament, dyspepsia and gastric reflux.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother was making a lot of sense. Unfortunately, all my father heard was...
[fantasy:]
Rochelle: You got the light bill, the gas bill, the phone bill, the heat bill, the water bill, car note, taxes, insurance, food, rent, clothes, heating, cooling, washing, drying...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother thought it was work that gave my father stress. But she was wrong. It was debt.
Quote from Julius
Drew: Man, I wish I could take a week off. I need a vacation.
Julius: What for? You're a kid. Your whole life's a vacation. This is a waste of time. I should be working.
Rochelle: You got five paid vacation days. Paid, Julius.
Julius: Yeah, but they're paying me for a 40-hour week. I average close to 70. If you think about it, I'm actually losing money.
Rochelle: Then don't think about it.