Monk Quote #11
Quote from Monk in Everybody Hates the Last Day
Adult Chris: [v.o.] With only four days of school left to get Caruso, I needed a crazy revenge plan, so I asked a crazy person.
Chris: Hey, you know anything about revenge?
Monk: One time in this third world country, I helped install this puppet regime for this dictator's ex-wife after a coup, just so she could stop him from getting his favorite suits.
Chris: So that's a yes?
Monk: I don't know what you're talking about.
Chris: Okay. Well, there's this kid Caruso. He's been picking on me all year long and I just want to get even.
Monk: You want to know how to do it? If he pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send his to the morgue. Now, you do that, and that will end your problems with Caruso.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Crips and Bloods tried that. Never quite seemed to work out.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Last Day’ Quotes
Quote from Julius
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, my father tried to replace a $25-an-hour plumber with a 14 cents-an-ounce bottle.
Mr. Omar: Drainada?
Julius: That's right. It's Spanish Drano.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Doesn't "Drano" already sound Spanish?
Julius: It's just as good as the real thing.
Mr. Omar: What's in it?
Julius: Sodium hydroxide and hot sauce. It dissolves the clog and leaves the pipes with a fresh, spicy scent.
Mr. Omar: Does it work?
Julius: You ever heard of a Puerto Rican with a plugged-up sink?
Mr. Omar: No.
Julius: Okay.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It's just hitting Mr. Omar that maybe he did know a Puerto Rican with a plugged-up sink.
Quote from Jerome
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In order to exact the perfect revenge, I decided I should consult some experts.
Jerome: If I was you, I'd move onto his block and take a dollar from him every day for the rest of his life. Let me hold a dollar.
Quote from Greg
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The hardest thing about planning revenge is figuring out how far to go.
Greg: How's Operation Get Revenge On Caruso going?
Chris: Not bad, but I'm changing the operation name to He Can Hear You, Stupid.
Greg: What's that?
Chris: It's my revenge list. I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it.
Greg: You could toilet paper his house.
Chris: Too dangerous.
Greg: You could egg him on the way home.
Chris: Too obvious.
Greg: Put Ex-Lax in his hot chocolate.
Chris: Too typical.
Greg: Suit yourself, but I'm saving that one for a jerk to be named later.