Julius Quote #196
Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Eggs
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was trying to raise my baby, my father was trying to lower the electric bill.
[in the living room, Julius turns off the TV :]
Drew: I was watching that.
Julius: I've seen it; Rosebud's his sled.
[in Tonya's room, Julius unplugs her boombox:]
Tonya: I was listening to that.
Julius: I've heard it; the baby's not his.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Got that right.
[in the kitchen, Julius turns the dial down on the toaster oven:]
Rochelle: That's too low. That's gonna take all night to cook.
Julius: You can eat in the morning. Combine breakfast and dinner. Call it brinner.
Rochelle: You have officially lost your mind. [Julius takes a picture of the refrigerator] What's that?
Julius: A picture. Now you can figure out what you want and where it is before you open the fridge.
Rochelle: Well, what about if I take something out?
Julius: Then you just cross the item off the picture.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Eggs’ Quotes
Quote from Monk
Monk: What you got in this bag, boy? What kind of rations you got?
Chris: Careful! It's not lunch. It's an egg.
Monk: Hey, man, what's that, a booby trap or something, man?! You trying to kill me?They must have sent you to kill me, didn't they? You been ordered by my commanding officers, huh?
Chris: No, it's my class project. I'm supposed to take care of it like it's a baby for a week. And if anything happens to it, I get an "F."
Monk: What you mean, "If anything happens"? I'll tell you what happens. Try landing a helicopter at night in the middle of a sandstorm in the Iranian desert. "If anything happens." What if they don't tell you there's a sandstorm, huh? "If anything happens." What if your commanding officer doesn't tell you you'll be taking fire from the left or to the right or there's even going to be a sandstorm? "If anything happens." It's because you're commanding officer sent you on a mission that he knew was going to fail! "If anything happens." Boy, if all you got to do is take that egg and carry that egg around for one week and keep it alive? Boy, you don't know how good you got it. [scoffs] "If anything happens."
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What you talking about, Monk?
Chris: Sure do hope you're right.
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Growing-up in Bed-stuy, the worst thing my mother always said was that we better not bring home any babies. In fact, my mother was so paranoid, she didn't like anything in the house that even reminded her of a baby.
[montage:]
Rochelle: Boy! Is that a baby?
Drew: No, it's a football.
Rochelle: Is that a baby?
Tonya: No, it's a shoebox.
Rochelle: Is that a baby?
Chris: No. It's baby carrots.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was so scared of bringing home babies, to this day my mother has never seen my kids.
Quote from Tonya
Rochelle: I have an announcement to make. We have a new addition to the family.
Julius: What? You having a baby?
Tonya: He ain't sleeping in my room.
Rochelle: I'm not having a baby. Chris did.
Tonya: I thought you said if we bring home a baby, you'd slap the Similac out of us.