Chris Quote #194

Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Thanksgiving

Doc: You can make macaroni and cheese out of anything. All you got to do is...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Whenever anyone says, "All you have to do is" the next thing they say is always something impossible.
[fantasy: Chris and a man are wearing bomb squad uniforms as they crouch in front an explosive:]
Man: Dismantling a bomb is easy. All you have to do is identify the ground wire, pull out your cutters and snip. You try it. [runs away]
[fantasy: Chris and a man are on top of a building:]
Man: Base jumping is easy. All you got to do is make sure you have enough distance from the base before you pop your chute. [voice echoing] You try... [thud]
[fantasy: A man is on the street juggling:]
Man: Juggling chainsaws is easy. All you have to do is keep one saw in the air at all times. [chainsaw buzzes] [screams]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] All you have to do is learn to live with one hand.
Chris: Hey, you want me to go get somebody or something?


 ‘Everybody Hates Thanksgiving’ Quotes

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Well, I', thankful that I don't have to take no mess, 'cause my man has two jobs.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though I didn't like the idea of homework over Thanksgiving, I did learn what Thanksgiving was all about.
Chris: To me, Thanksgiving means family and togetherness. Thanksgiving came about when the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock. The Indians greeted them, provided them shelter, taught them how to grow corn and how to prepare for the winter. They went on to cook one of the greatest meals the pilgrims every ate. And in appreciation for showing them how to prosper and survive in this brave new world, the pilgrims killed the Indians and created a holiday in their honor. So on this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for my family, my friends, but most importantly, I'm thankful that I'm not a Native American.
[Ms. Morello is the only person to clap. The other students give Chris a blank stare. Greg shakes his head at Chris. Outside the class room, a tear runs down the eye of a Native American man.]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Happy Thanksgiving.

Quote from Julius

Rochelle: That's $98.47 worth of groceries.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's usually what he says.
Julius: Rochelle, we have family coming over. I can't have them thinking we can't afford nice things.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's usually what she says.
Rochelle: Baby, why do you feel like you have to compete with Louis?
Julius: This has nothing to do with Louis. I just want to have a good dinner.