Greg Quote #178
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had two Fat Boys tickets. Now I had to get two skinny boys to pass for 18.
Chris: Look, I've been thinking. All I have to do is get out of the house, then maybe we can find a way to get into the show.
Greg: Well, my mother will be drunk and passed out by about 7:00. So getting out of the house won't be a problem. I could be on tour with Van Halen, and she wouldn't even notice.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Years later, Greg actually toured with Van Halen for a year as a mike stand.
Chris: All right, that's good.
Greg: In terms of us going to see The Fat Boys, yes. But in truth, alcohol abuse is nothing to laugh at. And I'll be scarred forever by my mother's tragic disease, but please, continue.
Quote from Tonya
Rochelle: Can you please tell your father that I have nothing to say to him.
Tonya: Mama said she has nothing to say to you.
Julius: Fine. Throw me a party.
Rochelle: Oh! So now all of a sudden you want to have a party. Well, it's too late. You just can't blow some balloons up, set a cake on fire and start hollering. You have to plan for a party. I mean, I have to send out invitations, write out a guest list, make present suggestions. Oh, no, no, you are not putting me through all that. Nuh-uh. The next time you want to have a party, you need to say something ahead of time instead of always waiting till the last minute!
Tonya: Mama said, "Oh! So now all of a sudden you want to have a party. Well, it's too late. You can't just blow up some balloons, set a cake on fire, and start hollering. You have to plan for a party. You have to invite the people. You have to invite the family from out of town. You have to get the cake. You have to get the ice cream. You have to get toys for the little kids to play with..."
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since it's against the law to choke children on film, we're gonna go to the next scene.
Tonya: "No, you have to plan for it!"
Quote from Greg
Greg: What's the matter? You look depressed.
Chris: I waited in line all day yesterday for Fat Boys tickets, and just when I made it to the store, they sold out.
Greg: No problem. I got tickets.
Greg: Sold out?! But I've been waiting in line for Hall and Oates tickets for three hours!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Hall and Oates wouldn't wait three hours for Hall and Oates tickets.
Attendant: All we got left is Fat Boys tickets.
Greg: Ah, what the heck, I'll take two.
Quote from Everybody Hates Gambling
Greg: Dude, this is bad.
Chris: Tell me something I don't know.
Greg: The estimated weight of the earth is six sextillion tons.
Chris: Greg, that was a rhetorical question.
Greg: Sorry. I told you this was going to happen. Chris, there's only one way out.
Chris: And what's that?
Greg: We can disguise you as a Dominican. You'll speak Spanish and move to the Bronx. We'll call you Salvador Armando Guillermo Sanchez Garcia Morales. You'll never see your family again, but you won't have to pick any more games.
Chris: Or I could just pick the wrong team and everybody will think I'm a loser again and then nobody will ask me to pick anymore.
Greg: You could try that, too.
Quote from Everybody Hates the Class President
Chris: I want you to run with me. I want you to be my vice president.
Greg: Oh, man. This is great. I can work behind the scenes. I can influence the judiciary committee. I can confer with the joint chiefs. Create policy!
Chris: Greg, it's the eighth grade.
Greg: I know, but this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was until he met Seven of Nine at a Trekkie convention.