Adult Chris Quote #323
Quote from Adult Chris in Everybody Hates the Port Authority
Rochelle: Well, when's the funeral?
Uncle Louis: Next week. Down South.
Julius: Oh. I don't think we can go.
Rochelle: Baby, what do you mean, we can't go?
Julius: We can't afford to go.
Uncle Louis: You can't put a price tag on family, Julius.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, but he'll give you five dollars to shut up.
Rochelle: Louis is right. Family is family, baby.
Uncle Louis: Family is family.
Chris: So we're going down South?
Rochelle: Yep.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Thanks, Uncle Morris.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Port Authority’ Quotes
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: Listen, when I was little, my father taught me all these scams. Three-card monte was his favorite.
[flashback:]
Gene: Honey, when it comes to three-card monte, you cannot win the game.
Young Rochelle: Why not?
Gene: Because I always know where the card is. But even if they pick the right card, I just keep raising the bet till they get scared. [laughs] Oh, too bad!
Young Rochelle: But what if I pick the wrong card?
Gene: Then I let you bet everything you got. Oh, tough break. [laughs]
Young Rochelle: What if I don't want to play?
Gene: Nobody ever wants to play. That's how come I got Rudy and Debra over there. They're shills.
[present:]
Chris: Shills?
Rochelle: Well, they act like they don't know each other. So in order to get the game started, they best first.
Chris: So him and her? Yeah. They're the shills.
[flashback:]
Young Rochelle: What if somebody bets on the right card and doesn't get scared when you keep raising the bet?
Gene: Now, honey, this is a very important lesson right here. We run! [laughs]
Quote from Rochelle
Hustler: Little man back. You got some more money?
Chris: No.
Rochelle: But I do.
Hustler: Who are you?
Rochelle: I'm his mother, and I got $50 on that card.
Hustler: I got a hundred that says that you're wrong.
Rochelle: I got $200 that says I'm right.
Chris: Turn the card over, Mother.
Hustler: No, wait.
Rochelle: Oh-oh-oh, wait! Now we wanna wait. I bet you want to run, too. See, that's my husband over there and that's his brother back there, so you can run, but you're not gonna get far. You got to ask yourself one question: Is today your lucky day? Doubt it, punk. Now give me my damn money back! Hurry! And the cards, too! Give me the cards!
Quote from Adult Chris
Adult Chris: [v.o.] As much as I loved growing up in Bed-Stuy, the place I loved even more was down South. After segregation and before the 2 Live Crew, down South was good, and the weather was always beautiful.
Chris: Hey, Mom, when are we going down South again?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When the Klan breaks up.
Rochelle: I don't know, baby. That'll be nice.
Tonya: Hey, Ma. Who's that?
Rochelle: Oh, that's your Cousin Beanie! You know what, she's 12, just like you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Except Cousin Beanie's not evil.
Rochelle: You know what, maybe we should plan a trip down South.
Drew: I don't like down South; people act too country.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] They're not acting.