Rochelle Quote #379
Tonya: Give it, or I'm going to tell.
Drew: Tonya, you didn't even want the Frosty Flakes until I had them. Stop!
Tonya: So, you can eat Crazy Bran.
Drew: I'm not eating the Crazy Bran, Tonya. Stop!
Tonya: Stop! You're spilling it!
Rochelle: Okay! Give me those darn cereal! [empties the box into a bowl] I'm sick of y'all fighting over cereal. Every day, y'all... [empties another box] You need a life bigger that cereal! [empties a big box] It's cereal! [mixes it up] Now eat the damn cereal! [puts a spoon, small bowl and a carton of milk in the bowl]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Eat the Damn Cereal. Coming soon from Kellogg's.
More Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
Quote from Everybody Hates Sausage
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything.
[flashback to Rochelle as a waitress:]
Woman: Check, please?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean anything.
Rochelle: Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now.
[flashback to Rochelle as a receptionist:]
Man: Hold my calls.
Rochelle: Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs!
Quote from Everybody Hates Tasha
Rochelle: You know, Julius, you know how much a light bulb costs per watt. How can you not know that you have another wife?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because those things are less complicated.
Julius: I do not have another wife.
Rochelle: Yes, you do! Look, look, look. It says so right there! You know what? What I want to know is, if she's your wife, then what am I?
Julius: You're my wife.
Rochelle: No! I'm your concubine!
Quote from Everybody Hates Earth Day
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I had my father on my side, my mother was going to get a teacher off of Tonya's back.
Rochelle: I don't see why I have to take a whole day off of work, to come down here for this nonsense.
Mrs. Wilson: I don't think it's nonsense. Tonya was exhibiting some aggressive behavior toward a classmate. I just wanted you to be aware of it.
Tonya: I was just trying to read, and she wouldn't be quiet.
Rochelle: Girl, you interrupt me again, I'm going to knock the sound out of your mouth.
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Okay, now this is an easy one. Who was the only president to ever be impeached? Chris?
Chris: Uh, George Washington Carver? [laughter]
Ms. Morello: No, Chris. George Washington Carver was the Black peanut genius. And you should know that. Albert?
Albert: I don't know.
Ms. Morello: What do you mean, you don't know? Did you read the assigned material? You can read, can't you?
Albert: Yeah, I can read.
Ms. Morello: Well, then, there's no excuse for you not having studied. Now, I know you and Chris are having fun shucking and jiving together, but you should really spend more time studying...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Albert looked at her like he was about to get his third strike.
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Chris, you must be so happy. You must feel just like Jackie Robinson when Larry Doby arrived.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] More like Robert Perish when Dennis Johnson showed up.
Chris: Who's Larry Doby?
Ms. Morello: He was the second Black man in baseball, but he was taller than Jackie and more... strapping. With his strong shoulders and Nubian profile. His Cleveland Indians uniform complimented by the rich caramel color of his skin. And the way he swung his bat. [giggles]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Forget jungle fever. She's having a jungle seizure.
Chris: Ms. Morello, are you okay?
Ms. Morello: Uh, yes. Anyway... after years of being alone and ostracized, you now have a soul brother. Somebody to talk jive with and to shoot dice with, to talk about being raised by MaDear with. Just seeing the two of you together would make your leaders like Dr. King and Uncle Remus proud. Oh, happy day! [giggles]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She might have been crazy, but she was right. I finally had somebody I could really relate to.
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: Hey, wait, wait, wait, where are you going?
Chris: I'm going to go sit down.
Rochelle: No you're not. New couch, new rules. There'll be no eating on this couch. So that means no soups, no salads, no sandwiches, no ribs, no Cheerios, no Bazooka gum, nothing. If you fall asleep, keep your funky little feet on the floor. Put a towel underneath your face to keep the drool and the dribble from getting on my pillows. If you sit down, you cannot have any pens, pencils, markers, nothing.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] By the time I sat on the new couch, it was the old couch.