Rochelle Quote #369
Rochelle: You failed the test again?! But we studied this, boy! What happened?
Drew: I don't know. My brain froze.
Rochelle: Well, you better thaw it out!
More Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
Quote from Everybody Hates Sausage
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything.
[flashback to Rochelle as a waitress:]
Woman: Check, please?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean anything.
Rochelle: Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now.
[flashback to Rochelle as a receptionist:]
Man: Hold my calls.
Rochelle: Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs!
Quote from Everybody Hates Tasha
Rochelle: You know, Julius, you know how much a light bulb costs per watt. How can you not know that you have another wife?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because those things are less complicated.
Julius: I do not have another wife.
Rochelle: Yes, you do! Look, look, look. It says so right there! You know what? What I want to know is, if she's your wife, then what am I?
Julius: You're my wife.
Rochelle: No! I'm your concubine!
Quote from Everybody Hates Earth Day
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I had my father on my side, my mother was going to get a teacher off of Tonya's back.
Rochelle: I don't see why I have to take a whole day off of work, to come down here for this nonsense.
Mrs. Wilson: I don't think it's nonsense. Tonya was exhibiting some aggressive behavior toward a classmate. I just wanted you to be aware of it.
Tonya: I was just trying to read, and she wouldn't be quiet.
Rochelle: Girl, you interrupt me again, I'm going to knock the sound out of your mouth.
Quote from Chris
Julius: You can't just quit every time you don't like something. I mean, what if Miles Davis had quit the trumpet?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit "Lucille"? What if Paul Robeson quit "Old Man River"? [time lapse] What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit pitying the fool? What if Stevie quit wondering? What if Fat Albert quit The Cosby Kids. [time lapse] What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doing the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit The Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.
Julius: Just go get a job.
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: What happened, baby?
Drew: I studied, but when I sat down, my mind went blank.
Rochelle: Your mind went blank? What kind of excuse is that? Did you eat breakfast?
Rochelle: Well, did you get a good night's sleep?
Rochelle: Well, boy, did you hit your head on a stupid rock on the way to school?
Rochelle: Well, I'm gonna help you study for that next test. 'Cause I didn't raise no dummies.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Bush's mom says that, too.
Quote from Doc
Doc: Minimum wage. Shoot. There was a time when the maximum wage for Black folks was zero.
Chris: But now the government requires that you pay me $3.35 an hour.
Doc: Well, work for the government. Look, Chris, I like having you around and you do a good job. But I just can't spare the money.
Chris: It's only 35 cents more an hour.
Doc: 35 cent an hour... that's $28 a month. That's three cartons of milk a day, that's two boxes of Mike and Ike an hour. That's no.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's when I realized I'd found the one person cheaper than my father.