Adult Chris Quote #303

Quote from Adult Chris in Everybody Hates Minimum Wage

Adult Chris: [v.o.] By 1986 I'd been working at Doc's for three years. Outside of getting robbed four times, sick on the pickles three times and a double hernia, it was the single greatest job I ever had. And from time to time, a pretty girl might stroll in. In exchange for all my hard work, I got paid three dollars an hour.
Doc: Good job, man. $60, cold hard cash.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had the perfect job... until I found out about minimum wage. Basically, minimum wage is the only guarantee people get paid in money. Your boss would pay you in Popsicle sticks if he could.
[fantasy:]
Boss: Great work.
Worker: A Popsicle stick? What do you take this thing for, man? I cannot work and live off no Popsicle sticks. The least you can do is give me the damn Popsicle.

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 ‘Everybody Hates Minimum Wage’ Quotes

Quote from Chris

Julius: You can't just quit every time you don't like something. I mean, what if Miles Davis had quit the trumpet?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit "Lucille"? What if Paul Robeson quit "Old Man River"? [time lapse] What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit pitying the fool? What if Stevie quit wondering? What if Fat Albert quit The Cosby Kids. [time lapse] What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doing the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit The Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.
Julius: Just go get a job.
Chris: Okay.

Quote from Doc

Doc: Minimum wage. Shoot. There was a time when the maximum wage for Black folks was zero.
Chris: But now the government requires that you pay me $3.35 an hour.
Doc: Well, work for the government. Look, Chris, I like having you around and you do a good job. But I just can't spare the money.
Chris: It's only 35 cents more an hour.
Doc: 35 cent an hour... that's $28 a month. That's three cartons of milk a day, that's two boxes of Mike and Ike an hour. That's no.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's when I realized I'd found the one person cheaper than my father.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: What happened, baby?
Drew: I studied, but when I sat down, my mind went blank.
Rochelle: Your mind went blank? What kind of excuse is that? Did you eat breakfast?
Drew: Yes.
Rochelle: Well, did you get a good night's sleep?
Drew: Yes.
Rochelle: Well, boy, did you hit your head on a stupid rock on the way to school?
Drew: No.
Rochelle: Well, I'm gonna help you study for that next test. 'Cause I didn't raise no dummies.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Bush's mom says that, too.