Rochelle Quote #326
Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates the Guidance Counselor
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Every day of my life, my mother threatened to knock the lobes off my ears or slap the pores off my face, but if anybody else ever put me down, she was always there to pick me back up.
Rochelle: Look, Chris, I don't know what you're going to do with your life. You may go to college, you may not. But I know whatever you do, you're going to be good at it. 'Cause I ain't having no grown man sleeping in my house.
Chris: Yes, ma'am.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Guidance Counselor’ Quotes
Quote from Manny
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My dad didn't go to college and neither did my mother, so I tried to find out if I knew anybody who did.
Chris: Hey, Manny, did you ever go to college?
Manny: Always wanted to, but I found out I couldn't.
Chris: Why not?
Manny: I had this thing called "extenuating circumstances."
Mr. Omar: Like what?
Manny: I never finished high school. So I got a job here and when Manny died, I took over.
Chris: Wait, you had the same name as the owner?
Manny: No, no, no, my name was Lester. But I had to make a choice: change the sign or change my name. And that sign was expensive.
Quote from Chris
Mr. Abbott: Okay, let's start. Father.
Chris: Tired.
Mr. Abbott: Mother.
Chris: Bald.
Mr. Abbott: Excuse me?
Chris: Sorry. I was still on "father."
Mr. Abbott: Thank God. I thought you had a bald mother.
Quote from Greg
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother was throwing clothes in the box, Greg was thinking outside the box.
Mr. Abbott: You did unbelievable on this test. There's a lot of things you could do when you get out of college.
Greg: At first, I was thinking I could start up an investment banking firm, or maybe franchise a coffee store.
Mr. Abbott: "Franchise a coffee store"? That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. A store that sells nothing but coffee? Well, what you going to open up next? A place that sells nothing but staples? Oh, what's after that? A place that sells everything for 99 cents? [sniffs] You smell anything?
Greg: Well, see that's what I was going to tell you. I settled on being an astronaut. I'm... I'm wearing a diaper.
Mr. Abbott: A diaper?! You mean, you want to fly a rocket, but you're still gonna pee in your pants?
Greg: Well, they don't make you do it but I wanted to see if I could take it.
Mr. Abbott: Nobody could take it, Greg. Now, get the funk out of my office. [sniffing] Gah!