Joey Caruso Quote #37
Quote from Joey Caruso in Everybody Hates the Substitute
Mr. Newton: Good morning. I'm Mr. Newton.
Joey Caruso: More like Mr. Tibbs.
Mr. Newton: What's your name?
Joey Caruso: Joey Caruso.
Mr. Newton: And you're making fun of me because I'm Black?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, you big dummy. He does it to me every day.
Joey Caruso: No, sir.
Mr. Newton: Sounds like it to me.
Joey Caruso: Sorry.
Mr. Newton: If you want to make fun of me, fine. But make fun of me for what I do, not how I look. You don't see me making fun of you because you look like a Brooklyn Beach Barney Rubble. [laughter]
Joey Caruso: No, sir.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] This Black sub is a bad mother...
Women: [v.o.] Shut your mouth!
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Substitute’ Quotes
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Chris, I love your shirt. What does it stand for?
Chris: B-.
Ms. Morello: Oh! B-. I love that Black street slang. So what else did I miss around here?
Greg: Well, we were supposed to have a practice test on the statewide exam today.
Ms. Morello: Oh, forget about that test. I want to show you the gifts I brought back.
Greg: Gifts?
Ms. Morello: For you, I brought back a shield and a spear.
Chris: What did you get me? What is that?
Ms. Morello: It's a bone. For your nose, silly. By the way, do you know a guy named Induku?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Actually, I did, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
Quote from Ms. Morello
Chris: Ms. Morello?
Ms. Morello: Oh, Chris, you're still here. I was so afraid the system would have brought you down by now.
Greg: We thought you were in Africa.
Ms. Morello: I was, but there was a civil war.
Greg: A war?
Ms. Morello: Fortunately, they found a way for all the White people to get out.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Same thing happened in New Orleans.
Quote from Mr. Omar
Mr. Omar: [on the phone] He fell down the elevator shaft? Tragic.
Julius: Excuse me, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Hold on, Mr. Julius.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, he wanted to hold on, all right.
[fantasy: Julius is strangling Mr. Omar with the telephone cord:]
Julius: Oh, I'm holding on now. Now, who you gonna call?
Mr. Omar: Let go. Tragic. Tragic.
[reality:]
Julius: I need to make a call.
Mr. Omar: I'm almost off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He better be, because it's almost on.
Mr. Omar: [chuckles] That's what he here for.