Chris Quote #170
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Malvo
Police Officer: May I talk to you a minute son? Can you give me a description of the guy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, he's the kind of guy that kills you if you describe him to the police.
Police Officer: What did he look like?
Chris: I was pretty scared, I don't really remember much.
Police Officer: You remember anything, what color clothing he had on. Was he tall?
Chris: Short.
Police Officer: Thin?
Chris: Fat.
Police Officer: Dark?
Chris: Light.
Police Officer: Thanks. If we get any leads, we'll let you know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, considering I just described Mini-Me.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Malvo’ Quotes
Quote from Rochelle
Julius: What?
Rochelle: "I'm just trying to tape my stories, blah, blah, blah." Julius, she's eleven, she made a mistake.
Julius: So what? Now, I can't get mad? You get mad all the time!
Rochelle: Exactly. But everybody's used to it. If I did half the things I threaten to do, don't you think I would have been in jail a long time ago?
[fantasy: Rochelle is in a jail cell with another woman:]
Prisoner: What are you in for?
Rochelle: Knocking my kids' nostrils off.
Quote from Doc
Doc: Now, come on, let's finish up these sketches.
Chris: Yeah, so, how did you learn to do this anyway?
Doc: I started painting nude portraits to meet chicks. Then I got good at it.
Chris: A little darker under the eyes.
Doc: Okay. Now, is that him?
Chris: Yeah, that's him.
Doc: Chris, that's Al Jarreau. Come on now, you got to focus. Every time we do this, it comes out different. Now, first time, this one looked like... Yeah, ain't that look like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? And that's George Jefferson. And ain't that Lionel Richie? Come on Chris. Let's just start over.
Quote from Julius
Julius: Hey, everybody. I got a surprise. A Betamax.
Drew: Didn't they stop making those?
Julius: They sure did. That's how I got it for half off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only time my father ever brought something new home was when it was old to everybody else.
[flashback:]
Rochelle: I asked for a sewing-machine! What the hell is this?
Julius: A loom.
[flashback:]
Rochelle: What is that?
Julius: A stove.
Rochelle: Well, if that's a stove, where's the witch?
[flashback:]
Rochelle: I asked for a car. What the hell is this?
Julius: A rickshaw. That's Rick. [An Asian man waves]