Julius Quote #97
Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Funerals
Julius: Chris, you know you're going to have to apologize to your grandmother.
Chris: How come? She's the one who's been mean to Mom.
Julius: She's hurting, Chris, and your mother is, too. I know you're trying to protect your mother, but trust me, you do not want to get between the two of them. You ain't gonna win that one. I'm already going to one funeral. I ain't trying to go to another one.
Chris: Well, then what do I do?
Julius: Do what I do: nothing. Things will work out. All right? Apologize.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Funerals’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Maxine: Mmm. Rochelle, can't you make a decent glass of iced tea?
Chris: Well, can't you leave her alone? It's iced tea! If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it! If you're not, don't!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I might be joining my grandfather sooner than I thought.
Maxine: Are you going to sit there and let that boy talk to me like that? Boy, don't you know I'll knock you into another family?
[fantasy: Chris sits on a couch with a White family:]
Mother: Who are you?
Chris: You don't want to know.
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: Chris, how many times do I have to tell you to quit leaving this damn yo-yo on the floor? What are you trying to do, kill me?
Chris: I forgot where I left it.
Rochelle: Well, will you remember when I fall down the steps and break my neck?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sometimes it felt like all my mother did was yell at everybody.
[montage:]
Rochelle: Tonya, close the door! You trying to freeze the whole house?
Rochelle: Drew, turn that mess down! You trying to make everybody in the house go deaf? And get your feet off my table.
Rochelle: Julius! Pick up your drawers! Do I have to do everything around here?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And when I say my mother yelled at everybody, I mean everybody.
Rochelle: [yelling in front of a mirror] Rochelle, what did I tell me? Are you trying to drive me crazy?
Quote from Michael
Julius: Um, Rochelle, even if we split this five ways, that's still a lot of money.
Maxine: Who's talking about splitting it?
Julius: Well, I just assumed we'd all chip in. I mean, it is your husband.
Michael: Julius, I want to help out.
Julius: What's this?
Michael: It's a baseball card. Al Oliver. He played in Pittsburgh. Lifetime .330 hitter. That card is going to be worth thousands of dollars someday.
Julius: How much is it worth now?
Michael: About a dollar.