Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though my father wasn't romantic, he wasn't stupid, either. He had a shoebox full of greeting cards in the house. He could give my mother a card for any occasion. Happy Anniversary.
Rochelle: Aw, you shouldn't have.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] [o.s.] Happy Flag Day.
Rochelle: Oh, you shouldn't have.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Happy Chanukah.
Rochelle: Oh, you shouldn't have.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He used to keep candy under the bed, too, but the mice kept eating it.

Chris: The girl on the bus. She gave me one yesterday.
Greg: And you didn't tell me? I know I go to bed early, but you could still call and wake me up when something this important happens.
Chris: Yeah, well, I wanted to tell you in person. I broke up a fight between her and her boyfriend.
Greg: You broke up a fight?
Chris: Yeah, and she gave me this card.
Greg: Dude, this is huge.
Chris: Is it? I-I don't know. It... It's just a card.
Greg: A card is, "I'm yours for the taking." How in there do you have to be before you get it?
Chris: Why is it that when it comes to me, you know so much about girls, but you freak out when one gives you a card?
Greg: I guess it's kind of like not being able to cut your own hair.

Chris: Hey, look, you got one, too. "Roses are red, violets are blue... Cupid hates your guts, and I do, too." Well, at this time he wrote a poem.