Drew Quote #5
Drew: Xièxiè nǐ, māmā.
Drew: It's "Thank you, Mom" in Chinese.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When my brother got into something, he got into it. You know, he's getting Asian girls to this very day.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything.
[flashback to Rochelle as a waitress:]
Woman: Check, please?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean anything.
Rochelle: Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now.
[flashback to Rochelle as a receptionist:]
Man: Hold my calls.
Rochelle: Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs!
Quote from Rochelle
Julius: Baby, if she doesn't eat they could call child welfare on us.
Rochelle: Mm-mm, Julius, that little girl is testing me. And if I let her tell me what she will and won't eat; the next thing you know, she'll be telling me what she will and won't wear. Then, the next thing you know, she'll be telling me when she will and won't come home! And then the next thing you know, she's going to end up pregnant... And I ain't taking care of no babies.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother always thought anything that Tonya did wrong would eventually get her pregnant. And she ain't taking care of no babies.
Quote from Everybody Hates the English Teacher
Mr. Omar: You hit on 17?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What Mr. Omar didn't know was that when it came to numbers, Drew was like my father.
Drew: Wow, that's 562,002 granules of sugar.
Drew: Wow, that's 357,000 raindrops.
Drew: Wow, that's one cupcake.
Quote from Everybody Hates the Buddy System
Julius: I'm really proud of you for getting 100 on that test, so here you go.
Drew: Yeah! Wow.
Julius: Huh? What do you think?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew thought about saying this...
Drew: Gritsky? It's not Gritsky. It's Gretzky with an "E"! I scored 100 on my spelling test. I can't wear this! You got that big old head, and you can't even spell Gretzky. [scoffs] Maybe you should take my spelling classes. I ain't wearing this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But if he did, here's what would've happened...
[fantasy: Drew is carried out of the house on a stretcher:]
Detective: What's the story?
Police Officer: Apparently, the kid loves hockey. Father brings home a jersey that says Gritsky with an "I" instead of Gretzky with an "E." Son mouths off, dad loses it, shoves the jersey down the kid's throat.
Detective: Is that the jersey?
Police Officer: It's all we could find.
Detective: Good thing he didn't ask for skates.
Quote from Everybody Hates the Car
Chris: You smoke?
Drew: Ma, the surgeon general says you can't-
Rochelle: I know what he says. It's written on the side of the box.
Tonya: Then how come you still smoke?
Drew: Yeah. If there was a sign on the side of our dinner that says it will cause cancer and birth defects, you would slap the salad out of us if you found us eating it.