Chris Quote #1
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates the Pilot
Chris: Listen, when y'all get to the house, don't ring the bell or knock on the door. Just wait, okay?
Drew: Whatever.
Tonya: What if I have to go to the bathroom?
Chris: Go at school.
Tonya: That bathroom is so nasty.
Chris: Listen. You wake up Daddy, he's gonna punch me square in the face, and if he does that, I'm gonna punch you in the face, and then he's gonna kill me and wind up in jail. Now do you want daddy to go to jail?
Tonya: No.
Chris: No? All right then.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from Julius
Julius: I know you're not gonna throw that away. Eat that. That's 30 cents worth of oatmeal.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always knew what everything costs.
[montage:]
Julius: [retrieving a chicken wing from the trash] That's $1.09 in the trash.
Julius: [next to a tray of burnt biscuits] That's $2 on fire.
Julius: That's 49 cents of spilled milk dripping all over my table. Somebody's gonna drink this milk.
Quote from Julius
Julius: Everything okay at school?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't tell him about the fight. My dad went to school during the Civil Rights era. After hoses, tanks and dog bites on your ass, somehow Joey Caruso didn't compare.
Chris: Yeah, it was all right.
Julius: Good. I'll see you in the morning.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father wasn't the type to say "I love you". He was one of four fathers on the block. "I'll see you in the morning" meant he was coming home. Coming home was his way of saying "I love you".
Julius: Unplug that clock, boy. You can't tell time when you sleep. That's 2 cents an hour.
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: If I ever catch any of y'all spray painting on anybody's wall, I'm gonna put my foot so far up your behind, you'll have toes for teeth. Get inside.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's my mother Rochelle. She had a hundred recipes for whooping ass.
[montage:]
Rochelle: Boy, I will slap the caps off your knees.
Rochelle: I will knock you into last night.
Rochelle: I will slap your name out the phonebook and call Ma Bell and tell her I did it.