Adult Chris Quote #3

Quote from Adult Chris in Everybody Hates the Pilot

Adult Chris: [v.o.] We moved to an apartment in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. Now, had we known that Bed-Stuy would be the center of a crack epidemic, I guess we'd have picked some place else. Bed-Stuy even had its own motto: "Bed-Stuy, do or die".
Rochelle: Look at that! Look at that!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Those are some of the guys that are gonna die.

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 ‘Everybody Hates the Pilot’ Quotes

Quote from Julius

Julius: I know you're not gonna threw that away. Eat that. That's 30 cents worth of oatmeal.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always knew what everything costs.
[montage:]
Julius: [retrieving a chicken wing from the trash] That's $1.09 in the trash.
Julius: [next to a tray of burnt biscuits] That's $2 on fire.
Julius: That's 49 cents of spilled milk dripping all over my table. Somebody's gonna drink this milk.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: If I ever catch any of y'all spray painting on anybody's wall, I'm gonna put my foot so far up your behind, you'll have toes for teeth. Get inside.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's my mother Rochelle. She had a hundred recipes for whooping ass.
[montage:]
Rochelle: Boy, I will slap the caps off your knees.
Rochelle: I will knock you into last night.
Rochelle: I will slap your name out the phonebook and call Ma Bell and tell her I did it.

 Adult Chris Quotes

Quote from Everybody Hates Jail

Chris: It wasn't me. I go to Corleone Junior High. I got the cookies from school, and I'm just selling them so I can go on some trip to Washington, DC. And I did not steal them. I was just saying that so people would want to buy them.
Russo: You go to Corleone? What are you the only Black kid there? Nice try. There was an eyewitness, and you fit the profile, cookie boy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I may have only been 13, but I already knew how racial profiling worked. This is what the witness said...
[flashback:]
Man: He was a Black male, medium complexion, about 6'4, 230 pounds. He had brown eyes. Um, he was wearing a Scout uniform with a yellow beanie, and he had on dark pants, and size 14 dark shoes. And, uh, a birthmark on the back of his left wrist. Oh, and... And he walked with a limp.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But this is what the cop heard...
Man: Um, he was Black, and, uh, Black, Black, and Black. Um, Black, Black, and he Black, Black, Black, Black, Black, Black. And, uh, he had, uh, Black, Black, Black, Black. And, oh, a Black. Yeah. And, uh, he walked with a Black.

Quote from Everybody Hates Keisha

Tonya: Ooh, I'm telling.
Drew: Shut up, Tonya.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Usually, when Tonya said she was telling, that meant I was getting in trouble. But I didn't care. All I wanted to do was slap the black off of Drew.
[fantasy: Drew's face has a patchy complexion as he is carried into an ambulance on a stretcher:]
Detective: What happened?
Police Officer: Looks like the older brother came home, found the little brother kissing his woman and slapped the black off him.
Detective: [holding an evidence back] Is this the black?
Police Officer: All we could find.
Detective: So much for brotherly love.