Rochelle Quote #574

Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Tasha

Rochelle: You know, Julius, you know how much a light bulb costs per watt. How can you not know that you have another wife?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because those things are less complicated.
Julius: I do not have another wife.
Rochelle: Yes, you do! Look, look, look. It says so right there! You know what? What I want to know is, if she's your wife, then what am I?
Julius: You're my wife.
Rochelle: No! I'm your concubine!

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Rochelle Quotes

Quote from Everybody Hates Sausage

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything.
[flashback to Rochelle as a waitress:]
Woman: Check, please?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean anything.
Rochelle: Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now.
[flashback to Rochelle as a receptionist:]
Man: Hold my calls.
Rochelle: Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs!

Quote from Everybody Hates Earth Day

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I had my father on my side, my mother was going to get a teacher off of Tonya's back.
Rochelle: I don't see why I have to take a whole day off of work, to come down here for this nonsense.
Mrs. Wilson: I don't think it's nonsense. Tonya was exhibiting some aggressive behavior toward a classmate. I just wanted you to be aware of it.
Tonya: I was just trying to read, and she wouldn't be quiet.
Rochelle: Girl, you interrupt me again, I'm going to knock the sound out of your mouth.

Quote from Everybody Hates Superstition

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, my mother had another way of getting her point across.
Rochelle: The next time you ask me to do something after your father told you no, I'm going to pop the pores off your face, do you understand me?
Drew: Yes, ma'am.

‘Everybody Hates Tasha’ Quotes

Quote from Julius

Julius: There is no kid.
Rochelle: How do you know, Julius? You didn't even know that you didn't have a divorce! Oh, my God. W-W-W--W-W-What's going to happen to this family if it turns out there's another one?
[fantasy: as the kids eat at the dinner table, Julius is standing next to a blonde-haired White woman and a young, bald-headed multi-racial guy:]
Julius: Kids, I'd like to introduce you to your new mother Tawny and your new brother Julian.
Julian: Girl, you just wasted $2.17 worth of white meat.
Julius: [chuckles] My boy.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Is she White?
Julius: What? No.
Rochelle: Can she get the house?
Julius: Rochelle.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Is she White?
Julius: Stop it.
Rochelle: Do you have a kid with her?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Is she White?
Julius: No.
Rochelle: Is the kid light-skinned?
Julius: No.
Rochelle: Ha! So you admit that you have a kid! Oh, God, I'm going to be sick!

Quote from Greg

Chris: I think I'm going to get Tasha to be my girlfriend.
Greg: Wow, what a coincidence.
Chris: How's that?
Greg: I think I'm gonna get Janet Jackson to be my girlfriend, and once we both achieve the impossible, we can go on a double date. We'll go to the Playboy Mansion.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And the girls will leave with Pauly Shore.