Chris Quote #501

Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates the English Teacher

Chris: See, if you love movies so much, why can't we just write papers on those? I'd get an "A" every time.
Ms. Rivera: That's a good idea, Chris, but I've been given a curriculum and I cannot deviate from that.
Chris: Well, the curriculum isn't working. Half the class is asleep.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was the year Congress passed No Child Left Awake.
Ms. Rivera: I don't like to make waves. Besides, it wouldn't make any difference.
Chris: "I find your lack of faith disturbing."
Ms. Rivera: Darth Vader.
Chris: I'm gonna go work on my paper.
Ms. Rivera: Chris.
Chris: Yeah?
Ms. Rivera: Let's do it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Years later, those very same words would send Mary Kay Letourneau to jail.

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 ‘Everybody Hates the English Teacher’ Quotes

Quote from Drew

Drew: 21.
Mr. Omar: You hit on 17?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What Mr. Omar didn't know was that when it came to numbers, Drew was like my father.
[montage:]
Drew: Wow, that's 562,002 granules of sugar.
Drew: Wow, that's 357,000 raindrops.
Drew: Wow, that's one cupcake.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After watching The Invisible Man, I managed to do in a few hours what it was taking Greg a few days to do.
Greg: So how do you like the book so far?
Chris: Oh, it was great. I already turned in my report.
Greg: Already turned it in? I'm only, like, halfway through the book. I've never seen you crank out a book report this fast.
Chris: I didn't read the book. I watched the movie.
Greg: Wait, what movie?
Chris: The Invisible Man. You know, the guy drinks the serum, disappears.
Greg: Dude, the movie The Invisible Man has absolutely nothing to do with the book Invisible Man. I don't know what you wrote, but whatever it is, you better hope Ms. Rivera doesn't read it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Too bad I didn't write that paper in invisible ink.

Quote from Rochelle

Julius: Rochelle, it's not like you didn't have anything to do with it. Every time I turn around, you're quitting another job.
Rochelle: Since when?
Julius: Since whenever. I'm just saying, I hope you like being at the beauty salon, because if you find a job you really like, maybe I wouldn't have to keep two jobs.
Rochelle: Oh. Oh, oh, wait a minute. So you're saying that you think I use the fact that you have two jobs as a reason to quit a job?
Julius: I didn't say that.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But she did.
[flashbacks:]
Rochelle: I do not need this. My man has two jobs.
Rochelle: I don't need this, man! My man has two jobs!
Rochelle: I do not need this, okay? My man has two jobs.