Chris Quote #373

Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Minimum Wage

Julius: You can't just quit every time you don't like something. I mean, what if Miles Davis had quit the trumpet?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit "Lucille"? What if Paul Robeson quit "Old Man River"? [time lapse] What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit pitying the fool? What if Stevie quit wondering? What if Fat Albert quit The Cosby Kids. [time lapse] What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doing the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit The Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.
Julius: Just go get a job.
Chris: Okay.

Rate

 ‘Everybody Hates Minimum Wage’ Quotes

Quote from Doc

Doc: Minimum wage. Shoot. There was a time when the maximum wage for Black folks was zero.
Chris: But now the government requires that you pay me $3.35 an hour.
Doc: Well, work for the government. Look, Chris, I like having you around and you do a good job. But I just can't spare the money.
Chris: It's only 35 cents more an hour.
Doc: 35 cent an hour... that's $28 a month. That's three cartons of milk a day, that's two boxes of Mike and Ike an hour. That's no.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's when I realized I'd found the one person cheaper than my father.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: What happened, baby?
Drew: I studied, but when I sat down, my mind went blank.
Rochelle: Your mind went blank? What kind of excuse is that? Did you eat breakfast?
Drew: Yes.
Rochelle: Well, did you get a good night's sleep?
Drew: Yes.
Rochelle: Well, boy, did you hit your head on a stupid rock on the way to school?
Drew: No.
Rochelle: Well, I'm gonna help you study for that next test. 'Cause I didn't raise no dummies.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Bush's mom says that, too.

 Chris Quotes

Quote from Everybody Hates Funerals

Maxine: Mmm. Rochelle, can't you make a decent glass of iced tea?
Chris: Well, can't you leave her alone? It's iced tea! If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it! If you're not, don't!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I might be joining my grandfather sooner than I thought.
Maxine: Are you going to sit there and let that boy talk to me like that? Boy, don't you know I'll knock you into another family?
[fantasy: Chris sits on a couch with a White family:]
Mother: Who are you?
Chris: You don't want to know.

Quote from Everybody Hates Houseguests

Chris: Well, nobody wakes me up. Nobody puts chocolate on my pillow. If I took a half-hour shower singing "That's What Friends Are For," and you had to pee, you would smack the crack out of my behind.
Rochelle: Okay, watch yourself, boy.