Monk Quote #12
Quote from Monk in Everybody Hates the Last Day
Chris: I just want him to stop picking on me.
Monk: Okay, well, what do you know about him?
Chris: Well, he likes to beat me up.
Monk: What else?
Chris: Call me names.
Monk: Is that all you know about him?
Chris: Pretty much.
Monk: Well, then, that's your problem. First rule of combat: know your enemy. Man, revenge is like a good pair of night vision goggles. If they're not made just for you, they're never going to work, and you're going to wind up shooting your platoon leader in the neck by accident. Now, if you want to get this revenge on this Caruso, you got to study him. You got to find out his strengths and weaknesses. You got to design something especially for him. Remember this: revenge is a dish best served cold.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought that was meatloaf.
Chris: Thanks.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] So now the plan was "Operation Get To Know Caruso."
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Last Day’ Quotes
Quote from Julius
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, my father tried to replace a $25-an-hour plumber with a 14 cents-an-ounce bottle.
Mr. Omar: Drainada?
Julius: That's right. It's Spanish Drano.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Doesn't "Drano" already sound Spanish?
Julius: It's just as good as the real thing.
Mr. Omar: What's in it?
Julius: Sodium hydroxide and hot sauce. It dissolves the clog and leaves the pipes with a fresh, spicy scent.
Mr. Omar: Does it work?
Julius: You ever heard of a Puerto Rican with a plugged-up sink?
Mr. Omar: No.
Julius: Okay.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It's just hitting Mr. Omar that maybe he did know a Puerto Rican with a plugged-up sink.
Quote from Jerome
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In order to exact the perfect revenge, I decided I should consult some experts.
Jerome: If I was you, I'd move onto his block and take a dollar from him every day for the rest of his life. Let me hold a dollar.
Quote from Greg
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The hardest thing about planning revenge is figuring out how far to go.
Greg: How's Operation Get Revenge On Caruso going?
Chris: Not bad, but I'm changing the operation name to He Can Hear You, Stupid.
Greg: What's that?
Chris: It's my revenge list. I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it.
Greg: You could toilet paper his house.
Chris: Too dangerous.
Greg: You could egg him on the way home.
Chris: Too obvious.
Greg: Put Ex-Lax in his hot chocolate.
Chris: Too typical.
Greg: Suit yourself, but I'm saving that one for a jerk to be named later.