Tonya Quote #60
Quote from Tonya in Everybody Hates Gambling
Jim Lampley: Hello, everybody, I'm Jim Lampley. Today, we're in Bed-Stuy for the World Checkers Championship, a showdown between Tonya and Drew. In the past, Drew has routinely schooled Tonya at checkers, but today, Tonya is tremendously motivated, because three dollars are on the line. The money's on the table. Let's go to the action. [round bell dings] Tonya is the first to move, making the play for Drew's front pieces. [crowd cheering] That looks like it could have been a setup by Tonya. Drew is gonna have to pay for that move. Oh, there's a tremendous move by Drew. Here comes Tonya again. All you can say to that move is, "King me." Tonya's on the defensive again. That could be part of her plan. And look at that! A double jump. Drew never saw it coming. Drew is holding on, but there's every chance today... he's going to get beaten by a girl. Ah. There's another amazing move by Tonya. She's really got Drew on the ropes now. One jump, two jumps... what a move. That's unbelievable. Can Tonya come back now? Whoa! The impossible has happened. Tonya jumps all of Drew's remaining checkers all at once. [bell dings] Tonya has won the game.
[audience cheering wildly]
Tonya: I won! I won! [singsongy:] You lost. I won. You lost. Now, give me my three dollars.
Drew: You cheated.
Tonya: Did not.
Drew: Did too.
Tonya: No, I didn't.
Rochelle: What is going on in here? You two are screaming like you don't have a mother.
Jim Lampley: A dispute has broken out, and under the rules of the championships, Mom is here to settle it.
Drew: Tonya cheated.
Tonya: No, I didn't. I beat Drew in checkers, and now he owes me three dollars.
Rochelle: And you're gambling, too?! You ain't gonna be happy until somebody comes over here and breaks every knuckle in this family.
Jim Lampley: So Tonya over Drew in a checkers match to remember right here at the Palace in Bed-Stuy. I'm Jim Lampley. Good night.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Gambling’ Quotes
Quote from Greg
Greg: Dude, this is bad.
Chris: Tell me something I don't know.
Greg: The estimated weight of the earth is six sextillion tons.
Chris: Greg, that was a rhetorical question.
Greg: Sorry. I told you this was going to happen. Chris, there's only one way out.
Chris: And what's that?
Greg: We can disguise you as a Dominican. You'll speak Spanish and move to the Bronx. We'll call you Salvador Armando Guillermo Sanchez Garcia Morales. You'll never see your family again, but you won't have to pick any more games.
Chris: Or I could just pick the wrong team and everybody will think I'm a loser again and then nobody will ask me to pick anymore.
Greg: You could try that, too.
Quote from Rochelle
Chris: But I wasn't gambling.
Rochelle: [mockingly:] You wasn't gambling. Well, I don't know what they call it, Mr. Spread on the Over-Under, but you better get ready to stop not gambling.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] "You better get ready to stop not gambling?"
Julius: What?
Rochelle: The point is: boy, you better stop!
Chris: Well, I already put a stop to it. I lied to Doc about who was going to win tonight's game.
Rochelle: Oh, so you're gambling and you're lying? How long is it gonna be before we have bodies under this house? Huh?!
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: I don't understand this. Why everybody in this house knows how much I hate gambling, and yet everybody in this house is gambling. Can somebody explain this to me? Julius? Chris? Drew? Can you guys explain? Tonya. What do you have to say for yourself, sweetheart?
Tonya: Drew was teasing me at checkers, so I bet him so he would stop.
Rochelle: And where did you get money to place this bet?
Tonya: Daddy.
Rochelle: Oh. Your daddy gave you money to gamble. Isn't that sweet? Give it here. [takes money from Tonya] Julius.
Julius: I was doing it just to help her build confidence.
Rochelle: Oh. You were building your daughter's confidence by turning her brother into a sucker. That's good. That's really good. [laughs] And Chrissy the Black? You're just there calling games like you're in Atlantic City, huh? Is that what you want to do if you grow up?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Notice she said "if."