Michael Quote #18
Quote from Michael in Everybody Hates Baseball
Michael: Rochelle?! What are you doing out here sneaking up on people? You could've caused me to have a heart attack.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Michael should've died years ago, but his heart was way too lazy to attack him.
Rochelle: What do you think you're doing?
Michael: What?
Rochelle: Why did you ask Vanessa to go out with you?
Michael: Because she cute, she got a good job, she need a man, Mama said I need a woman, plus, I hear she co-signs on loans.
Rochelle: Well, you need to ask somebody else out. You don't see me going around asking your friends out.
Michael: What're you saying, I'm not good enough for your friend?
Rochelle: No, Michael, I'm saying that if you go out with her and have a good time, she's going to expect you to call her back. You ain't got no money, you ain't got no phone, and if she hasn't heard from you, she's gonna be distracted. And if I end up with a bald patch in my head 'cause she left the perm in too long... Oh, you and me... we gonna have problems!
Michael: Well, I'm sorry, sis. She already said yes. I can't cancel right now. What would I look like?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like a bald patch.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Baseball’ Quotes
Quote from Risky
Risky: Oh, hey, Rochelle, what do you need, a butter roll or bagel?
Rochelle: Do you still have those celebrity autograph pictures?
Risky: I might have a few.
Rochelle: You got Billy Ocean?
Risky: What you want with a picture of Billy Ocean?
Rochelle: It's for Tonya.
Risky: [scoffs] All right, Tonya. All right, let's see here. Okay, uh, Billie Jean King, Wild Bill Hickok, uh... Billy Joel...
Rochelle: What do you do with these pictures anyway?
Risky: Oh, I sell 'em to soul food restaurants. Okay, Arctic Ocean, uh, Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean... Billy Ocean!
Quote from Julius
Rochelle: Baby, I haven't seen you this excited since you found that book of food stamps.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She should have seen him when he found a meter with time left on it!
Julius: Look, we got great seats, free tickets, I got the day off, and I get to hang with my boys.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If you threw in a nap, he would die and go to heaven.
Julius: If you threw in a nap, I'd die and go to heaven.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] See?
Quote from Vanessa
Adult Chris: [v.o.] After giving it some thought, Vanessa decided to give my mom a piece of her mind.
Vanessa: Rochelle.
Rochelle: Ah, hey, Vanessa, what's up?
Vanessa: Well, you tell me. Why don't you think I'm good enough to go out with your brother?
Rochelle: I never said that.
Vanessa: I tell you what, Miss High and Mighty, when you figure out what you are trying to say, you call me at home and then say it. Until then, find somebody else to wax your mustache.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What about the soul patch?