Greg Quote #71
Greg: You think they know we're gone?
Chris: The only one that would even notice is Caruso. He can just beat somebody else up. What's that?
Greg: I was up all night packing for everything we might need. I've got peanut butter sandwiches in case we get hungry, I've got some wet naps in case we get sticky from the peanut butter sandwiches, I brought a compass in case we get lost, some extra water, Rolaids, aspirin, a traveling toothbrush...
Chris: Greg, we're going to the movies, not Gilligan's Island.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If we did, Greg would have got with Mrs. Howell.
Greg: Hold on. For my "cutting school" scrapbook. Smile.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg sold that picture on eBay last week for $500.
More from Everybody Hates Chris
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Chris, I'm sorry for shushing you. I know your people can't help talking in the movies.
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Only problem with my mother helping at a book fair was she didn't read books and she wasn't fair.
Rochelle: Girl, does your mother know you're over here reading grown-up books? Give me that. Flowers in the Attic. Now that sounds nice. Read that. You done lost your Jackie Collins mind. And don't cut your eyes at me, either.
Rochelle: Boy, don't you know you are too big for a coloring book? White kids your age are building sculptures by now and you're over here trying to stay inside the lines. Come on, Picasso. Get to chippin'. Come on. Chip on. Chip, chip, chip.
Rochelle: You shouldn't be embarrassed that your boy only has a fifth grade reading level. You should be embarrassed that he's 27. He should be reading War and Peace, not Horton Hears a Who!.
Quote from Everybody Hates Gambling
Greg: Dude, this is bad.
Chris: Tell me something I don't know.
Greg: The estimated weight of the earth is six sextillion tons.
Chris: Greg, that was a rhetorical question.
Greg: Sorry. I told you this was going to happen. Chris, there's only one way out.
Chris: And what's that?
Greg: We can disguise you as a Dominican. You'll speak Spanish and move to the Bronx. We'll call you Salvador Armando Guillermo Sanchez Garcia Morales. You'll never see your family again, but you won't have to pick any more games.
Chris: Or I could just pick the wrong team and everybody will think I'm a loser again and then nobody will ask me to pick anymore.
Greg: You could try that, too.
Quote from Everybody Hates the Class President
Chris: I want you to run with me. I want you to be my vice president.
Greg: Oh, man. This is great. I can work behind the scenes. I can influence the judiciary committee. I can confer with the joint chiefs. Create policy!
Chris: Greg, it's the eighth grade.
Greg: I know, but this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was until he met Seven of Nine at a Trekkie convention.
Quote from Everybody Hates Earth Day
Greg: While I was making my tanning bed, I accidentally invented an incandescent light bulb that won't burn out for 600 years.
Chris: That's amazing. Then you'll definitely get an "A."
Greg: I can't turn that in.
Chris: Why not?
Greg: Are you crazy? I'd be a marked man. I'm not taking down every major power company in the nation. They'd have me killed in a minute. So I decided to switch projects. I'm going with a dung-powered radar system.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] US patent #D349127.