Chris Quote #237

Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates the Substitute

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Algebra wasn't the only thing I didn't know. And everything I didn't know, he was determined to teach me. He taught me language...
Mr. Newton: Veni, vidi, vici. "I came, I saw, I conquered."
Chris: Eenie, meenie, miney, mo... Catch a tiger by the toe.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He taught me history.
Mr. Newton: The Vitruvian Man.
Chris: The hangman. Pick a letter.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He taught me science.
Mr. Newton: Your turn. [hands Chris a scalpel]
Chris: Got anything bigger?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Please don't kill me in the name of science... ribbet!

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 ‘Everybody Hates the Substitute’ Quotes

Quote from Ms. Morello

Ms. Morello: Chris, I love your shirt. What does it stand for?
Chris: B-.
Ms. Morello: Oh! B-. I love that Black street slang. So what else did I miss around here?
Greg: Well, we were supposed to have a practice test on the statewide exam today.
Ms. Morello: Oh, forget about that test. I want to show you the gifts I brought back.
Greg: Gifts?
Ms. Morello: For you, I brought back a shield and a spear.
Chris: What did you get me? What is that?
Ms. Morello: It's a bone. For your nose, silly. By the way, do you know a guy named Induku?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Actually, I did, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.

Quote from Ms. Morello

Chris: Ms. Morello?
Ms. Morello: Oh, Chris, you're still here. I was so afraid the system would have brought you down by now.
Greg: We thought you were in Africa.
Ms. Morello: I was, but there was a civil war.
Greg: A war?
Ms. Morello: Fortunately, they found a way for all the White people to get out.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Same thing happened in New Orleans.

Quote from Mr. Omar

Mr. Omar: [on the phone] He fell down the elevator shaft? Tragic.
Julius: Excuse me, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Hold on, Mr. Julius.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, he wanted to hold on, all right.
[fantasy: Julius is strangling Mr. Omar with the telephone cord:]
Julius: Oh, I'm holding on now. Now, who you gonna call?
Mr. Omar: Let go. Tragic. Tragic.
[reality:]
Julius: I need to make a call.
Mr. Omar: I'm almost off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He better be, because it's almost on.
Mr. Omar: [chuckles] That's what he here for.