Rochelle: Ooh. Let me tell you what Charmaine did today. So she says to me, "Did you just get your hair done?" And she said it just like that. And then she passes me the card to her hairdresser and says, "Ooh, you know, girl, you should go to him. He's real good." I mean she got some nerve. Her hair so short, she can't even roll it with rice. I'm telling you, she got one more time.
Julius: Maybe she thought you'd like her hairdresser.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Uh-oh.
Rochelle: Are you defending her?
Julius: No. Um, I just thought maybe you took it wrong.
Rochelle: I took it wrong? She asked me if I just got my hair done and then hands me a card to her hairdresser. That's like somebody asking you if you just took a shower and then handing you a bar of soap.
Julius: I was just trying to help.
Rochelle: Help who? The woman has been messing with me since the day I got there. Now you're telling me I'm taking it wrong? Oh, no, she gonna take it wrong when I knock her over her block head.
Julius: Calm down.
Rochelle: Calm down? Why should I calm down? Oh, so I guess you're going to take sides with her, too. Next thing I know, you're gonna be passing me a card to her hairdresser.
Julius: Well, why you getting mad at me? This woman hands you a card and you trying to start a fight.
Rochelle: I am not trying to start a fight. She's the one trying to start a fight.
Julius: I don't care who's trying to start a fight. I'm trying to get some sleep.
Rochelle: Well, I am so sorry for trying to have a conversation with my husband!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I've learned that when dealing with a woman who has a problem, the last thing she wants from a man is a solution.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Every time my mother got a new job, there was always someone she hated. At the hospital, it was Tammy.
[fantasy: Rochelle is wearing a nurse's uniform as she talks to Julius:]
Rochelle: So Tammy says to set the defibrillator to 200. I know how to set the defibrillator. I'm gonna defibrillate her.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At the fire station, it was Betty.
[fantasy: Rochelle is in a fireman's uniform talking to Julius:]
Rochelle: That damn Betty set the water pressure at a hundred pounds per square inch, when she know I told her to set it at 130 pounds per square inch. I should've turned the hose on her.
[fantasy: Rochelle wearing an astronaut's uniform and carrying foil-wrapped meals as the family sit at the dinner table with a jar of Tang:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And at NASA, it was Belinda.
Rochelle: Can you believe that heifer? I told her to set the aft booster at 25,000 feet per second, and she looked at me like I'm crazy. Now, if we would've got stuck in the ionosphere, she would've been like, "Oh, well, what we gonna do now?" More Tang?
[reality:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And at the office, it was Charmaine.
Rochelle: And then when I got back from lunch, she done move my stapler. Talking about, "That's not where it goes." I told her I put it there, so that's where it goes. He didn't hear a word she said.

Chris: Tried to give these guys a citation and they shoved me in the locker.
Greg: I'm not surprised. I mean, just look at your body language.
Chris: What body language?
Greg: It screams, "Ignore me." Your shoulders are hunched over. You're staring at the ground and you sound like a girl. Let me have that.
Chris: I don't sound like a girl. You hear like a girl.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And throw like a girl, run like a girl and scream like a girl.
Greg: I'm just saying, people can hear the fear in your voice. If you want to give out citations, you have to give them out like you mean it. [puts a toothpick in his mouth]
Chris: What is that for?
Greg: It's my thing. Kojak had a lollipop and I got this.