TV Quotes

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even at school, Valentine's Day was a big deal, and it seemed like everybody was getting something except me.
Greg: Still a few days to go. We could still get a card.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means, "If we weren't friends, I'd smack the hope out of you."

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though my father wasn't romantic, he wasn't stupid, either. He had a shoebox full of greeting cards in the house. He could give my mother a card for any occasion. Happy Anniversary.
Rochelle: Aw, you shouldn't have.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] [o.s.] Happy Flag Day.
Rochelle: Oh, you shouldn't have.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Happy Chanukah.
Rochelle: Oh, you shouldn't have.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He used to keep candy under the bed, too, but the mice kept eating it.

Maxine: Mmm. Rochelle, can't you make a decent glass of iced tea?
Chris: Well, can't you leave her alone? It's iced tea! If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it! If you're not, don't!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I might be joining my grandfather sooner than I thought.
Maxine: Are you going to sit there and let that boy talk to me like that? Boy, don't you know I'll knock you into another family?
[fantasy: Chris sits on a couch with a White family:]
Mother: Who are you?
Chris: You don't want to know.

Julius: You can't just quit every time you don't like something. I mean, what if Miles Davis had quit the trumpet?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit "Lucille"? What if Paul Robeson quit "Old Man River"? [time lapse] What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit pitying the fool? What if Stevie quit wondering? What if Fat Albert quit The Cosby Kids. [time lapse] What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doing the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit The Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.
Julius: Just go get a job.
Chris: Okay.