Chris Quote #69
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Greg
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My sister Tonya was the baby of the family, so she was used to go wherever she felt like. When you have more kids than parents, one of the kids gets a kid. I got Tonya.
[When Chris sees Tonya holding a match in front of the gas stove, he imagines the entire floor of the building blown out by a gas explosion]
Chris: Are you crazy?
Tonya: I was trying to make some hot chocolate.
Chris: Well, that's not the way you do it. Why don't you ask somebody for help before you start messing things up. And give me the matches! Are you trying to blow the house up?
Rochelle: Chris, I smelled...
[Rochelle imagines the same gas explosion]
Rochelle: No! Goodness! Boys are you crazy? Are you trying to blow the all house up?
Tonya: I tried to tell him.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Little sisters, you can't live with them. And they can accidentally turn up missing.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Greg’ Quotes
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: You want something to eat?
Julius: Aren't you supposed to be at work?
Rochelle: Well, I have a little time off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What actually happened was...
[flashback to Rochelle helping a customer when a woman walks over with a pair of shoes:]
Woman: Do you have these in a size eight?
Rochelle: Do you see me helping somebody else? All that hollerin' at people. I do not need this. My man has two jobs. And you ain't no damn eight. Get her an eleven!
Quote from Drew
Rochelle: Well, who put this pot on the stove?
Drew: Wasn't me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because of those two words, Drew never got in trouble.
[montage:]
Rochelle: Who tore up my back seat?
Drew: Wasn't me.
Julius: Who left my nickel laying out here on the sidewalk?
Drew: Wasn't me.
Rochelle: Who spilt this oatmeal?
Baby Drew: Wasn't me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Would you believe those were his first words?
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: What, they don't have a phone at Greg's house? Look, I don't care where you are. You be like E.T., you phone home! I need to know where you are, who you're with and what you're doing. How do I know you're not selling drugs? I mean, you could be kingpin of a Colombian drug cartel for all I know.
Chris: I'm not out there selling drugs.
Rochelle: How do I know that?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother had one goal in life for her kids: don't sell drugs. As long as they weren't doing that, almost everything else was okay.
[fantasy:]
Police Officer #1: Ma'am, your son shot the mayor.
Rochelle: Did he sell drugs?
Police Officer #1: No.
Rochelle: Get in here, boy.
[fantasy:]
Police Officer #2: Ma'am, your son killed the governor, kidnapped his daughter, robbed the president and ran a red light.
Rochelle: He ain't sell no drugs, did he?
Police Officer #2: No, ma'am.
Rochelle: Boy, get in here.