Adult Chris: [v.o.] Getting my campaign going was hard. It's not like my daddy was the class president before me.
Chris: Man, only eight signatures? I thought at least the nerds would support us.
Greg: Even they go for the cool people. Look at this. Ms. Morello gave it to me.
Chris: What?
Greg: It's a popularity poll.
Chris: They took a popularity poll?
Greg: And focus groups. Basically, it says we can't get on the ballot running together.
Chris: What are you talking about?
Greg: We appeal to the same base. Carol, Warren, Terrence Ping.
Chris: But we can't let this stop us. We have to keep trying.
Greg: What are we supposed to do, just get popular? Look at him. He's popular.
Chris: DiPaolo? He's as dumb as a rock.
Frank DiPaolo: Hey, Chris! How do you spell "spell"?
Chris: S-P-E-L-L.
Greg: He might be dumb, but people like him.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] They said the same thing about Fabio.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After what Ms. Morello had told me, I knew there was only one way I was gonna broaden my appeal.
Greg: I've been thinking about the popularity poll. Take a look at this. I've got it all worked out.
Chris: So do I. You're off the ticket.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Go to commercial before both of us start crying.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I hated having to sacrifice my friendship with Greg to get on the ballot, but I knew it would only happen if I could get the most popular person I could find.
Frank DiPaolo: Vice president?
Chris: Yeah. With me. We can be like Bobby Jones and Henry Bibby on the Sixers.
Frank DiPaolo: Can we be like Kevin McHale and Dennis Johnson on the Celtics?
Chris: Okay.
Frank DiPaolo: What do I have to do?
Chris: Nothing.
Frank DiPaolo: Cool.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at home, my father never had it harder than when my mother let him take it easy.
Julius: Hey, baby. What's going on?
Rochelle: Nothing. Nothing at all. There is nothing going on in this house.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When my mother said nothing was going on, here's what it meant to my father: [footage of Gozilla]
Julius: You didn't make me something to eat?
Rochelle: No, I didn't want to stress you out. You good? Good. [turns lights off]
Julius: I still got to eat.

Tonya: Drew, wait. Can you help me, please?
Drew: [chuckles] I was just joking. Play the tape.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew was always good at pretty much everything. We're just glad he never liked Riverdance.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The hardest thing about winning at any cost is that sometimes that price gets way too high. I was already paying that price, but I didn't know that Greg was, too.
Chris: Hey.
Greg: Hey.
Chris: What happened?
Greg: You don't want to know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If I was going to get my friend back, I knew I had to get out of my comfort zone and do something bold.
Chris: I'm sorry.
Greg: About what?
Chris: About everything. I just wanted things to be different. Sometimes, I think you don't know how it is for me.
Greg: You might think I'm different, but I'm not, not really.