Adult Chris: [v.o.] The one thing that Drew and I did together was watch basketball games and Rocky movies. Tonight it was basketball.
Drew & Chris: Whoa! See that shot?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But since we only had one TV, we had to share with Tonya, and Tonya always got her way.
Tonya: Mama said I can watch Three's Company.
Chris: We're watching the game!
Tonya: I don't care. [turns TV over] Move.

Rochelle: I just wanted to do something nice. That all.
Julius: I think staying home is nice.
Rochelle: Well, you're not here all day.
Julius: Well, why don't I stay home, and you can go out and work two jobs?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Where's a time machine where you could just go back and shut up?
Julius: No, I did not mean-- I'm not trying to take anything away from what you do here.
Rochelle: That's okay. If you don't want to go out you don't have to.
Julius: No, look... What I meant to say...
Rochelle: It's okay, no, no. Enough said. It's over. Over.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] There are two things my father knew for sure: He knew he knew nothing for sure, and he knew this wasn't over.

Julius: I'm sorry, baby. If you want to go out, we can go out.
Rochelle: Thank you, baby. Oh! I'll call Sheila's baby-sitter and tell her she can come tomorrow.
Julius: Why do we got to pay a baby-sitter when Chris'll do it for free?
Rochelle: No, no, no, he does it during the day, not at night.
Julius: Rochelle, we don't really need...
Rochelle: Do you want me to make you some chicken?

Chris: What's that?
Yvette: It's my baby.
Tonya: You can't bring that baby in here.
Chris: Would you be quiet, and let me handle this? You can't bring that baby in here.

Chris & Tonya: [sing] It's like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from going under Uh, uh, uh-uh It's like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from going under.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Hey, he cried when I sang "Endless Love".

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Isn't it funny how irresponsible people think they can change the whole world with a piece of chicken?

Chris: You got to leave and take that baby with you.
Mrs. Sanders: Fine!
Chris: Not you, her.
Mrs. Sanders: I don't know if that's such a good idea.
Chris: If my mom comes home and finds out what happened, she's going to ask me why I didn't tell her. And I'm going say because my dad told me not to. And then she's going to curse him out and kill me.

Rochelle: Chris, look at your sister.
Chris: What happened to her?
Rochelle: You weren't watching her, that's what happened to her.
Tonya: I told you I wanted a cookie.
Chris: Mom, I just sat down for a minute.
Rochelle: Do you know what can happen in a minute?

Yvette: Hi, I'm Yvette.
Rochelle: Oh, okay, come on in. Okay, so I have some chicken baking in the oven. Just take it out about in 20 minutes. Chris and Drew are gonna watch the basketball game.
Tonya: What am I gonna do while Chris and Drew are watching the basketball game?
Yvette: Well, you can hang with me. I'll show you how to do French braid.
Tonya: Okay.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Having a babysitter in the house was great, because the only kid I had to worry about was me.
Yvette: I'll be right back. [on the phone] No, I can't talk right now.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother would never hire someone she thought was irresponsible. But irresponsible people never tell you that they're irresponsible... because they're irresponsible!