Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew's corner was crawling with more girls than Usher's garbage can.

Louise Clarkson: Rochelle.
Rochelle: Yes, Louise.
Louise Clarkson: I need stickers.
Rochelle: What?
Louise Clarkson: Stickers. I've been up and down this block. I've looked in every window and there are no stickers. How do we expect offenders not to offend if there are no stickers?
Rochelle: I'll get you some stickers, Louise.
Louise Clarkson: Thank you.

Yvette: What?
Chris: How come you didn't tell me you just didn't want to go out with me instead of dissing me like that?
Yvette: Like what?
Chris: Like leaving me out in front of the movie theater like a fool. Like saying you want to go with me to go see Whodini then hanging up in my face?
Yvette: You said the tickets were fake.
Chris: I thought you re going because you wanted to go out with me. Why'd you even agree to go out with me in the first place?
Yvette: Because I didn't have anything better to do.
Chris: Why didn't you say that?
Yvette: I was trying not to hurt your feelings.
Chris: Well, you know, you really suck at that.
Yvette: Well, what do you want me to do?
Chris: You know what? Nothing.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I asked Yvette out after I got famous. She stood me up and went out with Chris Tucker.

Doc: You handled that like a man, Chris. You still got those tickets?
Chris: Yeah. Why?
Doc: I got this young honey on the line and she loves rap.
Chris: Have fun.
Doc: You know I will.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Man, the first time I asked a girl to go out with me and this happens. Hey, at least it ended better than this. [footage of a police chase]

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After a week of being captain of the Block Watch, my mother was going down with the ship.
Louise Clarkson: I heard a noise in my house.
Rochelle: I heard a noise in my house, too, and it's you at my damn door!
Louise Clarkson: Well, you are the Block Watch captain.
Rochelle: No, no, I'm not. You win! You win! Here, here, you want to be the Block Watch captain, be the Block Watch captain.
Louise Clarkson: Well, only if you're absolutely sure.
Rochelle: [frustrated yell] [slams door] [opens door] Here's the recipe to the pie! [closes door]
Louise Clarkson: All right, we gonna see who's watching the block now.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After getting put down by Keisha and stood up by Yvette, I was through having crushes on girls in the neighborhood, and I meant it.
Tasha: Oh, hi. You must be Chris.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Uh, scratch that.
Chris: Hey. Who are you?
Tonya: I'm Tasha.
Louise Clarkson: Stay away from my granddaughter, you cockeyed hooligan.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Turns out older women didn't like me either.

Rochelle: Well, don't get mad at me. You act like I stole it. That's it. I'm starting a block watch.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That sounds like a good idea.
Rochelle: As soon as I finish this toe.

Greg: You should do something simple. Something you haven't tried before.
Chris: I can't just walk up to her and ask her out.
Greg: Have you tried it?
Chris: Not yet.
Greg: The worst she can say is no.
Chris: Okay then, let's try it.
Greg: Try what? You'll be Yvette and I'll ask you out.
Adult Chris: Brokeback Hallway.