Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, I was still wishing that my job had worked out a little better. After all I'd gone through with my father, I appreciated him that much more.
Boy: Hi, man. How do you like my jacket?
Chris: You got that one?
Boy: I got the last one on sale.
[A sales associate replaces the price tag with $99.99 instead of $49.99]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But I didn't go out in the middle of the night and do all that work for nothing.
[six month's later, on a hot summer's day:]
Keisha: Aren't you hot in that thing?
Chris: Please. I'm fine. [faints]

Greg: You think a leather jacket's going to make you cool?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It made these guys gazillionaires. [picture of Run-DMC]
Chris: It could. The only thing is, I don't have $50.
Greg: Just save up your allowance.
Chris: My what?
Greg: Allowance. It's money. That your parents give you every week.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'd heard about allowances, but I didn't know they actually existed. I thought it was just something that happened on TV.
[fantasy: black-and-white footage of a young White boy getting his allowance:]
Man: Here you go, son.
Boy: A thousand dollars. Thank you, father.

Drew: So we can go back after they finish repainting our classrooms.
Rochelle: All right, well, y'all stay out of my way, cause I'm cleaning up.
Tonya: What are we going to do all day?
Rochelle: I don't know. Go play. But you all better not mess up my house till after 4:30! I mean, asbestos kills, a little paint ain't gonna hurt.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, I felt like the only guy on earth without a leather jacket.
Chris: You got a leather jacket?
Greg: Cool, huh? My dad got it for me at the army surplus store.
Chris: Hey, weren't you the one who said that leather didn't make you cool?
Greg: Yeah, but I was wrong.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Finding a job when you're 13 is not the easiest thing to do. I applied for easy jobs...
Shopkeeper: Now why would I pay you to put groceries in a bag when I can put them in a bag my damn self?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I applied for hard jobs...
Shoe Shop Owner: Security guard, huh? You ever been shot?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I even applied for jobs I didn't know I was applying for.
Barber: You any good with matches? There's a new barber down the block. He needs to be taught a lesson.

Julius: What's up, George?
George: Hey, Herc.
Julius: What's up?
Pete: All right.
George: Who's this?
Julius: That's my son, Chris.
Chris: Who's Herc?
Pete: Herc like Hercules. That's a strong man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only other names I knew my father by were the words my mother called him, and they didn't have nothing to do with being strong.

Greg: So, little Herc. You funny like your old man?
Chris: My father's funny?
Pete: Ah, he ain't that funny. [Greg & Pete laugh]
Julius: Funnier than you two corny... [horn blaring]
Pete: Oh!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father never cursed at home, so hearing him curse at the job made me feel like I was in a secret club.
Julius: Get to work before I bring your mama back in here. [horn blaring]
Greg: Yeah, okay, whatever you say. See you, Little Herc.
Julius: You don't want me to tell your mama to come back here, too, man. [horn blaring] [all laughing] Hey, let's get to work.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I haven't heard cursing like that since my father stepped on my mother's bunion.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Being at work with my father was one of the coolest things I ever did. We broke laws...
Julius: Hey, hey, we can make it! Hold on, man. Here we go. Let's go! Let's go!
Chris: [screams] Whoo!
Both: Yeah!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Curse people out.
Julius: [horn honks] Hurry up! Let's go! Get out of the way! Kiss my ass! That's right! That's right!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was one of the most exciting nights of my life. We delivered papers in Brooklyn. We delivered papers in Queens, Little Italy, Chinatown, Spanish Harlem, Puerto Rican Harlem, the Bronx, Greenwich Village. We delivered papers to people I didn't even know who could read. And after delivering more than 15 tones worth of newspapers, all I could think was "Where the hell is the sun?"

Nurse: Um, number 36, the doctor will see you now.
Rochelle: Oh, no, no, no! Come on! This is ridiculous! Who's going to help my baby?
Nurse: That man's been shot.
Rochelle: Well, just because she's not shot doesn't mean she isn't hurt. If this wasn't an emergency, we wouldn't have to come to the emergency room. Look, if she doesn't get to see a doctor, we're going to have to get you a doctor. Yeah, now.

Rochelle: Doctor, I don't think that'll be necessary. My son dared her to drink a hot sauce shake.
Doctor: A hot sauce shake?
Drew: Yeah, you know, vinegar, hot sauce, syrup and milk. I didn't know it'd make her that sick.
Doctor: I know what to do. Here.
Rochelle: What is this?
Doctor: Ipecac. This is to induce vomiting. When she's done, she may have a slight cough. Give her some Robitussin. She'll be fine.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ain't no fussin' with the 'Tussin.
[Rochelle hits Drew with the prescription]