‘Everybody Hates New Year's Eve’
Season 4, Episode 10 - Aired December 12, 2008
Chris wants to go to Times Square on New Year's Eve. Meanwhile, Julius becomes a local hero after talking a suicidal man down off a bridge.
Quote from Julius
Chris: [on the phone] Hey, Dad, I was wondering if you could take me down to Times Square to see the ball drop tonight.
Julius: Yeah, man, I'd love to...
Chris: All right, cool, I'll go get ready.
Julius: I'd love to, but I can't. I have to go downtown with the mayor and get the key to the city.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Then dinner with Batman.
Julius: I probably won't be back in time. The traffic's still pretty bad out here. Why don't you get your mother to take you?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just because I can't go to Times Square tonight, am I gonna jump off a bridge?
Quote from Chris
Tasha: Hey, Chris. I saw your dad on TV. That was really brave, what he did.
Chris: Yeah, I guess.
Tasha: What's wrong?
Chris: Nothing. I was just hoping my dad could take me to Times Square tonight, but he's all tied up with these interviews.
Tasha: I'm going to Times Square tonight with my mom and Malvo. Why don't you come with us?
Chris: I don't think she'll let me.
Tasha: Why not?
Chris: You know why.
Tasha: Well, you can at least ask.
Chris: Ma! Can I go to Times Square with Tasha, Peaches and Malvo?
Rochelle: [o.s.] Hell, no!
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: Peaches.
Peaches: Please, girl. Look, we gonna follow the rules. We'll cross at the green not between. We won't jump any turnstiles. Even though that is a family tradition. And, listen, Tasha really, really wants Chris to go. You know, they'll have fun. We'll be careful. I promise.
Rochelle: Fine.
Peaches: What you say?
Rochelle: Fine.
Peaches: Okay, girl, I'll see you later. Chris! Your mother said you could go, boy! Hurry up before she change her mind! Bye, girl. All right, then. Happy New Year.
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: Okay, Chris. Now, with all the traffic and the people, you won't get home till early in the morning, but you're gonna be the first male to walk through the door for the New Year. So, here's $20. Keep it in your wallet. That's to bring us luck and good fortune for the rest of the year.
Chris: You got it.
Rochelle: Okay. Oh, I love you, baby. [loud smooching] Be safe. Be careful. [sighs]
Quote from Chris
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though my resolution was coming to pass, it didn't matter when it came to the cops.
Police Officer: Whoa, whoa, whoa I'm sorry, folks, we're at capacity. All right? We got over two million people in there now.
Malvo: Capacity? It's Times Square.
[The police officer points to a sign which reads "Maximum capacity for Times Square: 2 million"]
Peaches: Well, what difference is four more people gonna make? We came all the way from Bed-Stuy.
Police Officer: Well, you should've came earlier. Now step back.
Peaches: Oh. Ah!
Malvo: No, no, no, no, baby. No, no, no.
Peaches: If I wasn't on parole, I swear... Where's my...
Quote from Chris
Tasha: What are we gonna do now?
Chris: Maybe we should find a bar or something and watch it on TV.
Malvo: Nah! Nah, we seeing this ball drop. I know what to do. I'll be right back. [walks off]
Peaches: Come on, come on, come over here.
Peaches: [gun shots] [shrieking] They're shooting! They're shooting! Officer! White man with a gun! It looked like Chevy Chase! He's over there!
Police Officer: He's over there?
Peaches: He's over there! He's... Come on, y'all, let's go.
Chris: Who's shooting?
Peaches: Ain't nobody shooting, boy.
Chris: I heard some gunshots!
Malvo: Come on, baby, yeah.
Quote from Julius
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While we were trying to get into Times Square, my dad was trying to get through traffic.
Julius: Come on, people!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father had the key to the city, but it couldn't open gridlock.
Quote from Tonya
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back home, Tonya was awake and Drew had glue on his face.
Rochelle: Girl, would you stop all that hopping up and help me put these bags in the window?
Tonya: Do you think Daddy's gonna make it home before midnight?
Rochelle: I hope so.
Tonya: [sings] I've got a crush on you
Quote from Adult Chris
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Kissing Tasha on New Year's Eve was amazing. My only fear was that I was gonna turn into a pumpkin at midnight.
Quote from Rochelle
Julius: Damn. I forgot the first guy in the house supposed to have money in his pocket.
Rochelle: No, no, no, no, baby, I already took care of that. I made sure you were in the house before midnight, and before Chris left, I gave him $20 to ensure that we would have luck and good fortune for the rest of the year.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just in case the black-eyed peas don't work.
Rochelle: So now, if you will kindly give me my $20 back so we can get this year started. [Chris checks his pockets] Boy, don't play with me. Give me my money.
Malvo: Hey, y'all. Sorry to bother you. I let myself in. Peaches needed me to come through the door with some money in my pocket since I was gonna be the first man through the door after midnight, so I pickpocketed Chris. Anyway, I just wanted to give you back your wallet. Happy New Year! [blows party horn]
Rochelle: He was supposed to have that money in his pocket. And now we're gonna have bad luck for the rest of the year. Great. [screams] Happy New Year!