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Everybody Hates Math

‘Everybody Hates Math’

Season 2, Episode 21 -  Aired May 7, 2007

Chris needs help with algebra if Ms. Morello's class is to win a pizza party, so he turns to his grandmother, Maxine (Loretta Devine). Meanwhile, Drew breaks his dad's chair, and Julius gives Risky a job.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Going behind my mother's back to get help from my grand mother, made me feel guiltier than Janet Jackson at a half-time show.

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Quote from Drew

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back home, Tonya was continuing to undo the work of Abraham Lincoln.
Tonya: Drew, hand me the remote.
Drew: No. I'm sick of you. You get it.
Tonya: Daddy!
Drew: Go ahead. What are you gonna tell him, that I broke his chair?
Tonya: Yep.
Drew: But you told him you did it. So if you tell him I did it, I'm gonna tell Mama you lied on me. And you're gonna have to tell her either you lied this time or you lied that time. And either way, you lied. So if I get a beating from him, you're gonna get a beating from her. So you want to tell or you want to get up and get that remote?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew stamped Tonya's blackmail "Return to sender."
Julius: What is it?
Tonya: Never mind.
Drew: Oh, and, uh, while you're up, make sure you get me some popcorn.

Quote from Rochelle

Chris: I asked Doc for the day off.
Rochelle: Why? What's wrong?
Chris: Algebra. We have this pizza day coming up and we can't win unless I bring up my test score.
Rochelle: Is that how they get you to pass your classes these days, is by giving you pizza? I guess if they gave you steak, you'd be head of the class.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And if they gave you chicken, you'd open at the Apollo.

Quote from Risky

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because of the crack trade, it was a lot harder for Risky to make money on the streets. He couldn't make money on electronics.
[fantasy: Risky is selling electronics out of the back of his van:]
Risky: This is a brand new VCR. $30.
Electronics Crackhead: I'll sell you 30 for $1.
[fantasy: Risky is selling clothes in the salon:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He couldn't make money on clothes.
Pam: This is nice.
Risky: It's real leather, $50.
Leather Crackhead: I'll sell this one to you for a $1.50.
[fantasy: Risky is manning an ice cream truck:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He couldn't even make money on food.
Risky: One Bomb Pop. Two dollars.
Kill Moves: Sell you a lick for a nickel.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] When the going gets tough, the tough get going. So I got going to grandma's house.
Maxine: Chris, what are you doing here?
Chris: Hi, Grandma. I need your help.
Maxine: What's the problem?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Mama, plus me, times algebra, equals you.

Quote from Tonya

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Risky was doing the soft sell, Tonya was taking a hard line.
Tonya: Hey, Drew.
Drew: What?
Tonya: My shoe's untied.
Drew: So what?
Tonya: So tie it.
Drew: I'm not tying your shoe. You tie it.
Tonya: Nah, that's okay. Maybe I'll just wait till Daddy gets home and I'll ask him if he wants to tie it.
Drew: Okay, I'll tie it.
Tonya: Put it in a bow. Thank you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It's a good thing she can't read minds.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just because my grandmother was better at teaching math, didn't mean I was any better at learning it.
Maxine: You're doing that wrong.
Chris: What do you mean?
Maxine: Chris, are you paying attention?
Chris: I thought I was.
Maxine: Pizza is not the only thing you won't be getting if you don't pass this class. What? You want to grow up to be a toll booth operator?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I did, but E-ZPass took all the jobs.
Maxine: What am I gonna have to do to get you to understand this?
Chris: Well, how much longer do we have to work?
Maxine: Now, why do you ask?
Chris: 'Cause the Mets are about to play.
Maxine: Oh, so you like baseball, huh?

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, I was finally getting into the swing of things.
Maxine: Okay, Chris, in yesterday's game, Darryl Strawberry batted .500 with six at bats. How many hits did he get?
Chris: Okay, "A" equals the number of at bats, which is six. And "B" equals the batting average.
Maxine: Which is?
Chris: .500. And .500 equals "H", which is the number of hits over six. So if you multiply both sides of the equation by six, you will see that the number of hits is... three.
Maxine: That's right. You got three in a row!
Chris: Can we do another one?
Maxine: Okay, you work out another one. I'll get this door. [opens door] Rochelle?
Rochelle: Mama, I need your help. Chris?
Chris: Ma?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of As The Ghetto Turns.

Quote from Rochelle

Adult Chris: [v.o.] When my mother found out I was going behind her back for tutoring, she was her usual understanding self.
Rochelle: Chris, how come you just didn't say something instead of sneaking around? I mean, what else are you learning on the side? English? Science? History? Where does it stop?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] One day, she caught me speaking Latin and kicked me out of the house.

Quote from Risky

Julius: What's in the box?
Risky: This is that new stereo you were looking at. My way of saying thanks.
Julius: I appreciate it.
Risky: Ah, stop, man, stop. It's $20.
Julius: What?
Risky: It was $50.

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