Adult Chris: [v.o.] By the time Greg left my house, he really felt at home.
Jerome: Little White dude about to go home. Let me hold a dollar.
Greg: Sure. [hands Jerome a dollar] See ya.
Risky: Hey, if you need pants to go with that shirt, I can tighten you up.
Greg: Sorry, but I just got robbed.
Risky: Oh. Well, maybe next time.
Greg: Yeah. See ya.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg brought so much stuff, I couldn't tell if he was staying over or taking over.
Chris: You're wearing Transformers pajamas? Man, you're 15.
Greg: I like to pray as different characters. That way, God doesn't get bored with me. Tonight, I'm Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. [robotic voice] Now I lay me down to sleep, pray the Lord my soul to keep.
Amen.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He should pray for some self-esteem.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought having Greg stay over would be fun. Probably what the Indians thought when they first saw Columbus.

Greg: What time is it?
Chris: 5:00 a.m.
Greg: [removes mask] 5:00 a.m.? We don't have to be to school for another three hours.
Chris: Yeah, but if we don't hurry, we'll miss the first bus.
Greg: First? How many are there?
Chris: Three, plus a little bit of a walk.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg was going to have to walk a mile in my shoes.
Greg: How long of a walk?
Chris: About a mile.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After a week of doing things for Greg, the hardest thing was something I had to do for myself.
Chris: You asleep?
Greg: I'm not talking to you. But if I were talking to you, I'd tell you how angry I am because of what you did.
Chris: Look, I'm sorry. But you know how tired you were last night? That's how tired I am every night. But I don't get to cry about it, I just got to deal with it.
Greg: You don't have it so hard.
Chris: How do you figure that?
Greg: So you live in Bed-Stuy, it takes you three hours to get to school, and you have an after-school job. So what? I wish I had someone to fight over the TV or bathroom with. The last thing my mother cooked on the stove got her a year of probation. I don't do everything on my own because I want to. I do it 'cause I have to.
Chris: Dang, I guess I never thought of it like that.
Greg: Sorry, man, I didn't mean to be such a pain.

Rochelle: Now, wait a minute. You know we say grace every night.
Chris: No, we don't.
Rochelle: Yes, we do. Now, shut up and bless the food.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If I didn't thank the Lord at the table, my mother was going to send me to thank him in person.
Chris: Dear Lord, bless this food that we are thankful to receive.
Rochelle: Amen.
All: Amen.

Drew: What kind of food is this?
Greg: Vegetarian. My stomach has a lot of trouble breaking down enzymes.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't know you could buy vegetarian fatback.
Julius: It's not bad. Hey, pass the big piece of vegetable.
Tonya: Do we have to eat this?
Rochelle: If you want to eat here.

Rochelle: [answers phone] Hello.
Julius: Rochelle, it's me. Listen, I won't be home for dinner tonight. I have to take a passenger to Vegas.
Rochelle: Vegas? Julius, are you crazy? What about your regular job?
Julius: I have a few sick days I can use. I'll be back by the end of the week.
[Eddie ducks behind Julius's cab as a cop car drives by]
Rochelle: Julius, you are not driving that cab to Vegas.
Julius: The guy's gonna pay me a thousand dollars.
Rochelle: Get me Wayne Newton's autograph. Bye.

Risky: Listen here, I got the perfect shirt for your haircut, huh? Five dollars.
Greg: This has a hole in it.
Risky: Well, that's not a hole. It's distressed. Guys in Manhattan pay top dollar for this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In fact, a distressed man got shot in that shirt.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After school, Greg was doing his homework while I was doing my work work.
Monk: Okay, now, Doc left some instructions for you, Chris. Now, get all the merchandise out of all these boxes and stock the shelves with them, okay? Now, all the empty boxes need to be broken down and cut up into small pieces and thrown into the Dumpster behind the Chinese place when Mr. Hoo isn't looking. Now, when that's done, you can start your work. Hey, uh, Greg, you need anything? Soda? Ice cream bar?
Greg: No, thanks.
Monk: How come you don't do your homework like that, Chris?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because I'm too busy cutting up boxes.