Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, Greg had gone from bad to worse, like America under Bush.
Chris: Greg, where you going?
Greg: I'm out of here. I just don't fit in anymore. I can't come back to this. At the Bronx Academy, I was somebody.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, you were the guy who got kicked out.
Greg: I wouldn't expect you to understand. You're manager of the football team. You got a date to the dance. I'm just another reject.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Greg: Join the army. They don't reject anybody.
[cut to Greg in an army recruitment office:]
Man: Rejected.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was working on the Huckstables, James was working on Tonya's nerves.
Tonya: Where's Jason? He was supposed to meet me, not you.
James: You mean Maurice? I don't know. But I know this much: If I was supposed to walk you to school, when you came out, I'd be there, even if somebody threatened me with a tire iron.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She wishes she had a tire iron.
James: But I'll walk you, you know, since he's not here.
Tonya: I don't want you to walk me to school. Leave me alone.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's how girls turned down R. Kelly.

Chris: I got an idea. The school mascot, a sleeping fish.
Greg: What about it?
Chris: Well, they need a new guy. The other guy quit.
Greg: So what, you think me running around the sidelines at a football game wearing a giant fish suit's gonna help me? Really? That's what you think?
Chris: Well, everybody loves him. And they've never lost a game with him on the sidelines.
Greg: I don't know.
Chris: Trust me.

Chris: Hey, Greg, you look great.
Greg: Hey, Chris, you're lying.
Thurman: All right, Bassie, I want you to get out there today, you run around that field, you get us a win. Understand?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Isn't that what the players are for?
Thurman: Move it or lose it, towel boy.
Chris: Greg, come on.
Greg: No, I got to wait for a car to take me. I got this big suit.
Chris: Oh, well, good luck. Catch you later.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was gonna catch Greg later, some other guys were gonna catch Greg now.

Chris: Greg, what happened?
Greg: I got fishnapped.
Chris: You okay?
Greg: No, I'm not okay. I spent the last three hours in the back of a van with a giant fish suit on me with guys trying to force-feed me worms.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I hope that wasn't a metaphor.
Chris: Just calm down.
Greg: No, you calm down. Go to your stupid Homecoming Dance with your stupid date. And stop trying to pretend you understand me 'cause you don't, okay, pop star? The only thing you can do for me is to kiss my white--
Joey Caruso: [punches Greg's face] Way to lose homecoming, tadpole.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'm glad Caruso punched him, because it would have ruined our friendship if I had had to do it myself.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] By the time homecoming night came around, even though Greg wouldn't talk to me, I probably couldn't hear him because my sweater was so loud.
Tonya: That sweater looks stupid.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I would have a comeback, but unfortunately I agree.
Tonya: Bet you a dollar she doesn't show up.
Julius: Tonya, she'll show up. Chris, she doesn't show up, just give us a call. We'll come get you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Nothing like a parent's love to destroy your confidence.

Julius: Turn it off. Sit down. Didn't I tell you to leave my daughter alone?
James: Look, I'm just trying to show her I like her.
Julius: She gets it. But you can't make somebody like you back.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At least not without a lot of fame and money.
James: Between me and you, I ain't letting her go without a fight.
Julius: Are you talking about a fight for her or with me?
James: Just tell her when she gets tired of Jason, I'm available.
Julius: I'll do that.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, he won't.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Tonya had an unwanted visitor at home, I had an unwanted visitor at homecoming.
Chris: Mom, what are you doing here?
Rochelle: Greg's aunt called. He never came home last night. Do you have any idea of where he might be?
Chris: I don't know.
Jenise Huckstable: [imaginary] You realize that if you don't take me to the dance, you'll never have a chance of going out with me again.
Chris: I know.
Rochelle: You know or you don't know? Huh?
Greg: [imaginary] Chris, if you don't come find me right away, you know this can end badly for me.
Chris: I know.
Rochelle: Well, then come on.
Chris: What?
Rochelle: Let's go get Greg. You say you know where he is, right?
Chris: Yeah.
Greg: [imaginary] You better hurry, man.
Jenise Huckstable: [imaginary] Why don't you leave him alone? You know he wants to go to the dance with me.
Chris: I really do.
Rochelle: Well, then come on.
Greg: [imaginary] He doesn't care about you. He just met you. He's known me for years.
Chris: I can't leave Greg hanging.
Greg: [imaginary] Ha.
Rochelle: Let's go, boy.
Jenise Huckstable: [imaginary] You're standing me up?
Chris: I have to.
Rochelle: What?
Greg: [imaginary] I'm on the edge, man.
Chris: Stop yelling at me.
Rochelle: Look, I don't care who's missing. You holler at me like that one more time, you gonna come up missing.
Chris: I'm sorry.
Jenise Huckstable: [imaginary] You should be.
Rochelle: You better be. Now come on.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Man, that scene put the "azy" in crazy.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The next day, I went to deliver the Huckstables an apology, but they had come to get it themselves.
Rochelle: What the?
Dr. Clint Huckstable: Ah-hah. Now you know what it's like to come into your home and not believe what the eyes are seeing because your daughter is boo-hooing, shedding the tears.
Rochelle: Who the hell are you?
Dr. Clint Huckstable: I am Dr. Clint Huckstable. And I am the father of the daughter shedding all the tears because the son of the mother from Bed-Stuy stood her up at the Tattaglia-talia public school homecoming dance.
Rochelle: How did you get into my house?
Dr. Clint Huckstable: The crack baby let me in.
Tonya: I'm not a crack baby.

Dr. Clint Huckstable: All I am saying is that my little girl had her feelings hurt.
Chris: You did?
Jenise Huckstable: I had even asked my father if I could transfer permanently. I thought you were funny, cute, edgy, and cool.
Chris: You did?
Jenise Huckstable: Yes. But now I hate you.
Dr. Clint Huckstable: All it took was one phone call. Now give me back my sweater.
Chris: With pleasure.
Dr. Clint Huckstable: Thank you, sporty. Let's go.
Chris: Ma, aren't you gonna say anything?
Rochelle: Well, you could've called.