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Everybody Hates Graduation

‘Everybody Hates Graduation’

Season 3, Episode 22 -  Aired May 18, 2008

Chris is excited to finally graduate from Corleone, until he learns that and Greg won't be going to the same high school. Meanwhile, Julius's brother Ryan (Tony Rock) has another business idea, and Tonya is set to perform in a ballet recital.

Quote from Ms. Morello

Ms. Morello: Gregory, you've got such a bright future ahead of you. And, Chris, in your family, this must be like getting a PhD. Have you thought about what high school you're going to yet?
Chris: Oh, well, I want to go to the Bronx Academy of Science with Greg.
Ms. Morello: Now, Chris, you've graduated from junior high, but let's not get uppity.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I felt too low to get uppity.
Ms. Morello: The Bronx Academy is for the exemplary students. Maybe you should think about something more realistic.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She means a school with metal detectors.

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Quote from Adult Chris

Chris: The belief that the United States was destined to expand from the Atlantic Seaboard to the Pacific Ocean was called "Manifest Destiny"?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Should've been called, "Hey, Indians, ready or not, here we come."

Quote from Ms. Morello

Greg: You made it to the Bronx Academy.
Ms. Morello: Well, hold on a minute.
Chris: Hold on a minute? What do you mean hold on a minute? I passed, didn't I?
Ms. Morello: Yes, but that only qualifies you for the home interview. And assuming your mother is sober for that, and it goes off okay, then you'll be eligible for the financial review.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What next, a drug test?
Ms. Morello: Then, of course, there's the drug test.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I hope Marion Jones doesn't want to go to this school.

Quote from Chris

Mr. Perkins: Young man, let me ask you a question. Why do you want to go to the Bronx Academy of Science?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because that's where my friend's going.
Chris: 'Cause I love science?
Mr. Perkins: Why do you love science?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because it's in the name of your school.
Chris: 'Cause I like to cut frogs open? Klingons?
Rochelle: [laughs] Mr. Perkins...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If you don't let me in, she'll smack the scholastic out of you.

Quote from Ryan

Drew: Hey, Dad, Uncle Ryan said I could work for him, too.
Ryan: And you know you said you can't wait for Drew to get his first job.
Julius: That's not a real job. A real job takes place in a building. They shouldn't be able to tow your office.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Unless you sell ice cream.
Ryan: I'm only selling out the back of my car for now. I'm going to move to something more permanent.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like a van.
Julius: What happened to your auto parts store?
Ryan: The owner broke it up for parts.

Quote from Ryan

Adult Chris: [v.o.] When you're Black, first the cops charge, then they explain the charge.
Ryan: What's the charges?
Cop #2: Copyright infringement.
Ryan: Infringement? What are you taking about? I was just making tapes of people's songs.
Cop #2: Just get in the car.

Quote from Greg

Adult Chris: [v.o.] As graduation got closer, I thought about my days at Corleone. It had been tough, but the one good thing was that Greg was always there. We got beaten up together.
Joey Caruso: Hey, Zephyr. [Greg runs away]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And, of course, we hung out after school together.
Greg: [knocking inside his locker] Do you think it's safe to go out yet?
Chris: [inside his locker] No, we'd better give it another hour.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And now we'd be going to high school together.
Greg: Dude, I've got some bad news. I'm not going to high school with you.
Chris: What?!
Greg: My mother submitted me for a scholarship to the Bronx Academy of Science without telling me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Better than the time she submitted him for adoption without telling him.

Quote from Greg

Chris: You're kidding. Did you get accepted?
Greg: Dude, I am so in there. Sorry.
Chris: Well, congratulations.
Greg: Thanks, man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was sarcasm, dummy.
Chris: So your mother submitted you for a scholarship without telling you?
Greg: Yeah, her and Ms. Morello. She was afraid that if I didn't get accepted, I'd be disappointed. When I was seven, I lost a spelling bee and went into a black depression.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That happened to me when I saw Soul Plane.
Greg: To this day, I can't say "pulchritudinous" without crying.

Quote from Rochelle

Julius: Are you crazy? Do you see the tuition at this school?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was all he saw.
Rochelle: This is a good school.
Julius: This is an expensive school. He's going to end up a homeless genius.
Rochelle: I think Chris can benefit from being around kids like this that go to a school like this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She means White kids.

Quote from Julius

Rochelle: Look at all these great teachers they have.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She means White teachers.
Julius: If we send Chris to that school, what'll happen when Drew and Tonya graduate?
Rochelle: Oh, baby... Can't we just worry about that then? Can we just think about it?
Julius: I thought about it. And I'm smart enough to know we are too poor for Chris to be that smart.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Now I'm rich enough to be stupid.
Julius: Sorry, man.

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