Adult Chris: [v.o.] Everyone would agree that one of the most important days of the year is Mother's Day.
Kids & Julius: Happy Mother's Day!
Rochelle: Oh, you guys didn't have to do this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Everybody wants to show their mama how much they love them. Even Tupac wrote a song about his mother. On Mother's Day, people pull out all the stops. You take your mother to brunch...
Restaurant Manager: We're out of food. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. If you could just come back next Sunday.
Woman: What- What do you mean you're out of food? Next Sunday?
Restaurant Manager: We're out of food, Mama. What you want me to do?
Mother: Get in that space!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] We take her to a great movie so she can wear a great big hat. And you spend your last dime on her, just so she knows she's number one.
White Mother: Oh, my God!
White Father: Come on.
White Mother: Oh, I can't believe you did this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But when it comes to Father's Day, nobody gave a damn.
Restaurant Manager: It's Father's Day, people. Come on down to Pastures and Shores. The food is half-price. Buenas noches. Como se dice "half-off"?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The movies are terrible...
Man: Turn it off! Turn it off!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] ...the gifts suck.
White Father: What the hell is this?
White Mother: It's a parking space, honey. We got you a parking space.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Better park and be happy. And the only song for fathers was this. [film of The Temptations singing Papa Was a Rollin' Stone]

Greg: So, wait, your dad says he doesn't want anything?
Chris: Nope. All he said was he wanted to be all alone.
Greg: You better watch out. My mother said she wanted a day alone. The next thing we knew, she left and moved to Poughkeepsie.

Doc: What you looking for, Chris?
Chris: I'm trying to find my father something for Father's Day.
Doc: Father's Day. My daddy liked guns, liquor and women.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I guess he liked jail, too.

Rochelle: Isn't that sweet? We have the best kids in the world.
Julius: Oh, yeah.
Rochelle: They're so sweet.
Julius: They are.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means, "Ain't you supposed to be leaving?"
Julius: You better hurry up. I mean... You're gonna be late for your, uh, the, um... Uh, the... Uh, what y'all doing?
Rochelle: We're going to the museum. And to see the movie Trading Places.
Julius: Oh, that should be funny.
Rochelle: Right. Right.
Julius: So, you better hurry up, all right?
Rochelle: Okay, Julius, we're leaving.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] For my father to have one day where he could do whatever he felt like doing was like finding a million dollars. He slept on the couch. He slept in the bed. He slept on the dining room table and dreamt his favorite dreams.
Julius: 17 cent worth of butter.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He watched bowling.
Julius: Yeah! Yes!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He watched baseball.
Julius: Yeah!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He watched golf.
Julius: Oh, oh, oh, yeah!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He even did stuff we didn't know he did, like painting. And singing his favorite songs.
Julius: [sings] At first I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live Without you by my side But then I spent so many nights Thinking how you did me wrong But I grew strong And I learned how to get along And now you're back from Outer Space
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't say he knew all the words.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my father was doing things he wouldn't do while we were around, we were doing things we wouldn't do while he was around.
Rochelle: Okay, y'all stay where I can see you. All right, now, Chris, you sure about this?
Chris: Mr. Harris gave me my money back on the watch, so I wanted to go shopping and see if I can find Dad something that he'll like.
Rochelle: Okay. But gift or no gift, if you're not home by 6:30, I'm calling the police.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother always told us if we weren't home on time, she was calling the police.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was trying to figure out what to get my father, my mother was trying to figure out what she had gotten herself into.
Tonya: What is that?
Rochelle: Well, honey, that's art.
Drew: You sure? Looks like somebody got shot and fell in a bucket of mustard.
Rochelle: Be quiet, boy. This is culture.
Tonya: How much more culture do we have to get?
Rochelle: Girl, just look at the picture.
Drew: I wish Dad was here. Maybe he could explain this.

Chris: Hey, Risky?
Risky: Hold up, little man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had looked for a gift everywhere I could, so I decided to look somewhere I shouldn't look.
Chris: So, what kind of stuff do you have for Father's Day?
Risky: Father's Day? That ain't a big one for me. You know there ain't none but four fathers in the neighborhood. Now, Mother's Day, I had a whole bunch of stuff.

Rochelle: What kind of gift is a day off from your family?
Julius: It's just one day.
Rochelle: Well, how is that supposed to make the kids feel?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Women always used the kids against you.
Rochelle: It's Father's Day and you don't want to be a father.
Julius: I did not say that.
Rochelle: They're trying to honor you, and all you got to say is, "Leave me the hell alone."
Julius: I did not say, "Leave me the hell alone."
Rochelle: You may as well have.
Julius: I haven't had a day to myself in 13 years. If I didn't want to be a father, I...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means if you want to keep beg a father you better keep your mouth shut.

Rochelle: But it is supposed to be our day to do something special for you.
Julius: That's what I'm trying to say. [to himself] It's Father's Day. Why can't I do what the hell I want to do?
Rochelle: Huh? Say what?
Julius: Uh... you got the key?