
‘Everybody Hates Fat Mike’
Season 1, Episode 5 - Aired October 20, 2005
Chris goes against his parent's wishes and lends his bike to a neighbor kid. Meanwhile, Julius takes on more of the household duties when he's off work because of a strike.
Quote from Chris
Jerome: What's up, little man?
Chris: I was looking for Fat Mike.
Thug #1: You know Fat Mike?
Chris: Yeah. I was here the other day when y'all tried to rob me.
Jerome: Oh. Yeah, you're the little dude from across the street, huh? Man, that's the little dude from across the street.
Thug #1: Oh, yeah. We didn't know that was you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You said that like I had on a disguise.
Quote from Drew
Drew: Mom, Dad found $20 cleaning under my bed.
Rochelle: That's nice.
Drew: He let me keep five.
Quote from Tonya
Julius: Now, this is a little unusual, but I need you to do what I tell you. I want you to mess the house up.
Tonya: What?
Chris: Whoa. Mess the house up?
Drew: Won't Mama get mad?
Julius: Yeah, but don't worry about it.
Tonya: Can I set Chris on fire?
Julius: No, baby, don't set Chris on fire, okay?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At least this time she asked for permission.
Tonya: Okay.
Julius: Now mess up your beds, eat a snack, leave your plates out. Leave your drawers in the hallway. Just don't set your brother on fire, all right? Now, go!
Quote from Adult Chris
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Black people didn't go this crazy again until the L.A. riots.
Quote from Chris
Adult Chris: [v.o.] With my mother back at home and father back at work everything was back to normal again.
Thug #1: Yo, little man, let me hold a dollar.
Chris: I know Fat Mike.
Thug #1:Who?
Chris: Fat Mike. You know me. I'm the little dude across the street.
Thug #2: What's that supposed to mean? We don't live around here.
Chris: [screams] Help me! [runs]
Quote from Julius
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Nothing could stop my father from working unless work stopped working.
Newscaster: Local truckers are on strike today over dangerous conditions brought about what they call "lack of adequate signage." Apparently, a driver was injured in an explosion caused when gasoline fumes were ignited as he filled his tank.
Julius: I can't believe this!
Rochelle: What's wrong?
Julius: I'm on strike.
Rochelle: What happened?
Julius: They say we're in dangerous conditions, and they got to put warning signs on the truck, 'cause some guy got in an accident.
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother was pretty good with people when she wanted to be, so she never had any problem getting a job.
Woman #1: [storming out of the interview] Oh, you can stick it! I told you not to call my old job.
Woman #2: [to Rochelle] You trying to get that secretary job?
Man in Drag: Girl, I like your shoes.
Interviewer: Rochelle.
Rochelle: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Quote from Chris
Jerome: Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yo, little man, let me hold a dollar.
Chris: I don't have any money.
Thug #1: So what you got, then?
Chris: Nothing! I stopped carrying stuff, 'cause every time I come by here, you ask me where I live. I say, "Right down there," and then you rob me anyway.
Jerome: You live around here?
Chris: Yeah, right down there.
Thug #1: That's a nice bike.
Jerome: Look at that. Yeah. That's new?
Chris: Yeah.
Thug #1: Why don't you, uh, let me take a ride on your bike.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Translation: Can I steal your bike, please?
Chris: My dad said not to let anybody ride it.
Fat Mike: Why don't you guys leave him alone?
Thug #1: Yo, Fat Mike. You know this dude?
Fat Mike: Yeah. He lives right up the street.
Jerome: Man, why you ain't say you know Fat Mike?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Uh, because I don't.
Quote from Chris
Chris: Why do you hang out with those guys?
Fat Mike: I just know them from the block.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wasn't sure why Fat Mike was hanging with me, but as long as it kept me from getting robbed, I was cool.
Chris: You go to school around here?
Fat Mike: Yeah. Where do you go?
Chris: Corleone. It's all the way over in Brooklyn Beach.
Fat Mike: Why all the way over there?
Chris: My mom. She thinks it's "better."
Quote from Adult Chris
Fat Mike: Oh, don't be scared of them. They'll leave you alone after a while.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Translation: When they go to jail.
Chris: You want to hang out after school tomorrow?
Fat Mike: I can't. I got to go to Jersey to see my father.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I think I was the first kid that Fat Mike knew that actually had a father that lived at home.
Chris: All right, then I'll catch you later.