Adult Chris: [v.o.] When I set out to look for fake IDs I didn't expect to find my real uncle.
Chris: You sell fake IDs?
Ryan: What are you talking about? You're the one trying to buy it.
Chris: Does my father know you do this?
Ryan: No.
Chris: Does your mom know you're doing this?
Ryan: No.
Chris: You're not gonna tell her, are you?
Ryan: And ruin my good business? I don't think so. You're not gonna tell?
Chris: No, I'm no snitch.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew's X-ray glasses didn't work, so he had his eye on a refund.
Drew: Uh, "ticket services, check cashing..."

Julius: Hey, honey. You look nice. [Rochelle is silent]
Tonya: What's for dinner tonight?
Rochelle: I don't know, baby. Ask your daddy. I'm hanging out with Vanessa tonight, since he doesn't want to have a party.
Tonya: Daddy, Mommy told me to ask you what's for dinner.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Big bucket of fried crow.

Greg: Dude, like, half our class is in here.
James: [behind the bar] Hey, you guys want some drinks?
Chris: James?
James: Hey, man, I'm not James. I'm Tom Cruise. What are you guys having?
Chris: Uh, two iced teas.
James: Need to see some ID.

Julius: Chris, I need your help.
Chris: Sure. What do you need?
Julius: I've got something I need to do. Look, I need you to take your mother to lunch. Here's some money. Here you go.
Chris: Whoa, this is serious.
Julius: I'll be back about 2:00.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I don't know what's more surprising: my mother giving my father the cold shoulder, or my father giving me cold cash.

Julius: Surprise!
All: Surprise.
Julius: Happy birthday to me!
Rochelle: [laughs] Who are all these people?
Julius: The only people I could find for the party.
Rochelle: Oh, baby! [kisses Julius] Ooh! Blow out the candles before you set the house on fire. Yay!