Preacher: Now I believe it's the best hat-off we've had in years. Does the church agree? [shouts of agreement]
All: Amen! Amen!
Preacher: Well, I see the judges have made their decision. For the past three years, Sister Rochelle has swept the competition.
Rochelle: Hallelujah!
Preacher: But this Easter, our newest member, Sister Hattie, brings a wealth of hat expertise and her awards, too.
Rochelle: Damn. Oops. I'm sorry. [shocked murmuring]
Preacher: But this year's winner and still champ is Sister Rochelle.
Choir: [sing] Her Easter hat won the hat show Rochelle's new hat, four years in a row She can't believe that she beat Hattie This Easter hat is the hat that made history Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh...
Rochelle: Where's Chris? Where's Chris?! Where's Chris?!
Chris: Here I am!
Choir: [sing] History... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Unfortunately for me, that was a great Easter, except the wrong person came back after three days.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Growing up in Bed-Stuy, one holiday I looked forward to was Easter.
Tasha: That's two boxes of dye and a dozen eggs.
Chris: That it?
Tasha: Almost.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You were dressed up, girls were dressed up and it was a good day to pretend you were on a date. Since Tasha and I went to the same church, she was the perfect choice.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wasn't proud of it, but I prayed something bad would happen to him.
[fantasy: after Tasha and Robert kiss on the street outside, a meteor crushes Robert to death:]
Tasha: Oh, my God! Robert, how will I ever get over this?! [sobbing] Oh, I'll help you.
Chris: Yeah, I'll help you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I never got that meteor, but something almost as good happened.

Chris: You okay?
Tasha: It's nothing. Just forget it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Time to bust a move, Dumb MC.
Tasha: Chris, are you going to the Easter pageant with anybody?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, Lisa Bonet.
Chris: No. Why?
Tasha: Would you escort me?
Chris: Yeah.
Tasha: Great. It's a date.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Tasha was on the rebound, so I made like Dikembe Mutombo.

Hattie Mitchell: You are Rochelle! I heard about you. I'm Hattie.
Rochelle: Hi, Hattie. Well, this is my friend, Vanessa. Well, how did you hear about me?
Hattie Mitchell: Well, I just joined your church, and I have been told that nobody can beat you.
Vanessa: You know that's right. You work here?
Hattie Mitchell: No, I own the shop. Thus the name.
Rochelle: Oh. Well, it's very nice. You have some really lovely hats. Um, do you have this one in a medium?
Hattie Mitchell: Oh, if I did, I wouldn't sell it to you.
Rochelle: What?
Hattie Mitchell: You see, I plan on winning the hat competition this year. And as much as I would love your business, I'd be a fool to sell you a hat.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She told her.

Rochelle: Well, uh, Miss Hattie, thus the name, I don't know who you think you are, and I don't know...
Hattie Mitchell: No, I'll tell you who I am. I am the five-time winner of the Fort Greene Greater Faith Holy Baptist Temple of Divinity COGIC Easter Spectacular, and I have graced the cover six times of Hat Weekly waiting on the seventh. Isn't that right, Levin? [chuckles]
Rochelle: Well, Miss Hattie... here's a... a dime.
Hattie Mitchell: Oh, what's that for?
Rochelle: For you to call somebody who really cares. Yeah, because I'm going to... [claps] win that competition.
Hattie Mitchell: We'll see about that.
Rochelle: Oh, yes, we will. Come on, Nessa.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Tonya and Drew were getting ready to become career criminals, I was getting ready for my date with Tasha.
Doc: Uh, Chris, if you look on that shelf over there, there's an ointment that'll help you with that.
Chris: Thanks, Doc, but I don't need any ointment.
Doc: So why you walking like there's something swollen, itching or burning?
Chris: Oh, 'cause Tasha asked me to escort her in the Easter pageant. So I'm practicing my walk.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Walk like that in Bed-Stuy, you better run.
Doc: Why? She seen you walk before?
Chris: Yeah, I know. It's just that she just broke up with Robert. So if I impress her now, she'll forget all about him.
Doc: And you will stroll right in and be her new man.
Chris: Exactly.

Doc: You think that's gonna work?
Chris: Why wouldn't it?
Doc: Because she's on the rebound.
Chris: Rebound?
Doc: Yeah. When you break up with somebody, the next person you end up with, they got you on the rebound. A person on the rebound will be with anybody just to forget the person they just left.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] So who do you have to break up with to end up with Bobby Brown?
Chris: Well, if I got anything to do with it, she gonna forget all about him.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Maybe if he hit her in the head with a brick.
Doc: Well, you got a whole day. You got plenty of time.

Tasha: Hey, Chris.
Chris: Hey, Tasha, what's up?
Tasha: My grandmother just told me we're not going to our church this Sunday. She wants me to do the pageant at her old church in Queens.
Chris: Queens?
Tasha: Sorry.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Now let's go to commercial before I start cursing.