Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ever since I was a kid, I always loved comedy. I loved cartoons. I loved sitcoms. But most of all, I loved stand-up comedians.
Rochelle: All right, y'all, time to go to bed.
Chris: Ma, can I stay up and watch 'til the end? It's almost over.
Rochelle: All right. Drew and Tonya, go. Good night.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What I didn't know was that my parents loved comedians, too.
Redd Foxx: [on tape] You knew it in your heart, you haven't washed your hair.
[Chris sneaks downstairs as his parents are laughing at the tape with Mr. Omar and Vanessa:]
Redd Foxx: So one night, the time was right, he asked her, he said, "Honey, would you marry me?" She said "wooden eye?"
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I can't say what he just said, but it was the first dirty joke I had ever heard.
Redd Foxx: "Geez, baby, what time do you have to be home?"
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And it wasn't the last.
Redd Foxx: She said "Christmas."
Adult Chris: [v.o.] A lot of kids would get in trouble sneaking out of bed trying to listen to dirty jokes. I ended up getting a career.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I found out one thing in life, if you want people to laugh, tell 'em a joke. Now, if you want them to really laugh, tell 'em a dirty joke.
Chris: Okay, and there was one black sheep, and the chief said "Okay, you don't tell on me, I won't tell on you."
Greg: [laughs] All right, stop it, man, come on, I can't take another one.
Chris: No, no, wait, I've got one more. Hold on-
Greg: No, no, I can't take it. Who is that?
Chris: Redd Foxx.
Greg: From Sanford and Son? He's a comedian?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, you big dummy!
Chris: I didn't know it either. My parents have a bunch of his albums.
Greg: And they let you listen to that?
Chris: Not really.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Still won't!

Rochelle: Momma, what you doing in here?
Maxine: I thought you might need a hand with dinner.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since my grandfather passed away, my grandmother had a lot of free time on her hands and she was giving it to my mother.
Maxine: Baby, that's not the way to do that.
Rochelle: But I do it this way all the time.
Maxine: Yeah, but the way you do it is wrong. Go ahead, sit down, I'll do it. Go ahead, I'll do it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only thing my mother hated worse than no help was help from my grandmother.

Maxine: Okay. Dinner is served.
Julius: Ooh, um... I can't eat this. My gout will flair up.
Maxine: Oh, don't worry. That's oven-fried chicken. I used skim milk in your macaroni, that's a baked potato and salad. So, you go ahead, eat up, you'll be just fine.
Drew: Wow, Momma never did all that stuff.
Julius: Shh!

Maxine: Hey, baby, you wanna sit down and have something to eat?
Rochelle: [eating her chocolate Turtles] Mm, I'm fine.
Chris: Grandma made oven-fried chicken.
Rochelle: Oh, really? That's nice. Well, I'm gonna finish the laundry.
Maxine: It's finished.
Rochelle: Then I'll go straighten up the kids' room.
Maxine: Oh, they're straightened.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Uh-oh.
Rochelle: Then I guess I'll go do my toes.
Maxine: They're done.
Rochelle: When did you do my toes?
Maxine: While you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means, "If you do something else, you're finished."

Jerome: [laughing] Aw... Hey, little dude from across the street, man, you're momma know you here telling jokes like that?
Chris: Nah.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because if she did, she'd smack the smut out of me.
Jerome: [to a passing boy] Hey, hold up. Let me hold a dollar. [to Chris] You want one?
Chris: Yeah.
[Jerome takes two dollars from the boy, keeps one for himself and passes Chris the other one]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] For years I had tried to be cool, but I had never felt cooler than when I tried to be funny.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I kept the guys rolling with laughter, my mother kept my father from rolling into bed.
Julius: What are you doing up?
Rochelle: I can't sleep.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Translation: "He can't sleep."
Julius: I didn't do something, did I?
Rochelle: No, it's my mother. She's driving me crazy. Every time I want to do something, either she's already done it or she doesn't like the way I did it.
Julius: Baby, she's just trying to help.
Rochelle: If you call her making me want to knock her out "help," she's doing fine.

Rochelle: I mean, she's got a house. Why can't she go over there and clean up after Michael?
Julius: Because if she has to pick up another one of his socks she's gonna strangle him with it.
Rochelle: What?
Julius: We were talking earlier. Rochelle, she's lonely.
Rochelle: She told you that?
Julius: No, but it's obvious she misses your father. I think she's just trying to keep herself busy.
Rochelle: Well, I wish she would find something else to do.
Julius: Maybe she should go on a date.
Rochelle: A date? My mother is almost 60. How would she look out there trying to get a date?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like Bea Arthur on The Golden Girls.
Julius: Better than she looks downstairs trying to cook your dinner.

Rochelle: I was wondering if you might know of any available men around her age?
Mr. Omar: Uh-oh, momma's got a brand new bag, huh? [laughs] Yeah, I think I might know a few people. Come on in.
Rochelle: Okay, thanks.
Mr. Omar: So, uh, how is Mr. Julius?
Rochelle: He's fine.
Mr. Omar: Oh.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, my mother was looking for a man to get back her sanity.
[montage:]
Applicant #1: I have a question for you.
Rochelle: Of course.
Applicant #1: Does your mom have a cellar, a large freezer and a pension?
Rochelle: Have you ever dated a Black woman before?
Applicant #2: Oh, yeah. There's nothing I love better than a bad mamajama.
Rochelle: I hope you're talking about the song.
Rochelle: Did Mr. Omar send you?
Kill Moves: No, your window was open.
Applicant #3: Can you hold this gun?