Chris: Vanessa, look out!
[Vanessa screams and runs away from Malvo]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What did I do that for?
Malvo: Boy, what's wrong with you?
Chris: Sorry, I didn't know. It was a reflex.
Malvo: Well, "sorry" didn't do it. You did it. Now, guess what. You owe Malvo a gold chain.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Good thing I didn't stop him from stealing a gold house.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was on the hook for a gold chain, Tonya was on the line for the hookup!
Drew: What are you doing? We gotta go to school.
Tonya: Billy Ocean is coming to Radio City Music Hall and the 98th caller wins tickets.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I faced the same odds whenever I called to ask out a girl.
Drew: So, what caller are you?
Tonya: I don't know, I keep getting a busy signal.
Host: [on radio] Hey! You're caller 98! [woman screams] That's right, baby, you are going to see Billy Ocean.
Drew: Come on. We're going to be late. Plus, you know Mama don't like you on her phone.
Host: We're giving away two tickets a day all this week. Just be caller 98.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If you want to hear Billy Ocean sing live nowadays, you can just call up Billy Ocean.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother usually wouldn't open my father's mail unless she wanted to know what was inside.
Rochelle: "Attached is your new credit card. Cardholder since 1970"?
[later:]
Julius: Hey, baby. Any mail?
Rochelle: Here you go.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother told me there's two things you don't hide from your wife: extra women and extra money.

Chris: And then he put a finger in my chest and said, "You're gonna get Malvo a gold chain by tomorrow night."
Greg: And if you don't?
Chris: He said, "When you least expect it, I will be there. When you're in the shower..."
[fantasy: Chris finds Malvo in the shower:]
Malvo: Where's my chain?!
Chris: [v.o.] "When you're watching TV..."
[fantasy: Chris is watching TV :]
Malvo: [on TV] Where's my chain?
Chris: [v.o.] Even in your dreams.
[dream sequence:]
Tasha: Chris, I just want to let you know, I hate everybody else, but I love you. Will you get me a soda?
Chris: Yeah.
Malvo: Where's my chain?

Greg: That's so weird. Guys in my neighborhood wear gold chains all the time, you never hear about one getting snatched.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's because it only happened once. [film clip: a man running away from a car jumps into a river] Black-on-Black crime is nothing compared to Italian-on-Italian crime.

Greg: This may sound crazy, but what if you just buy one and give it to him? I mean, how much do gold chains cost, anyway?
[later:]
Greg: $300?!
Chris: Got any more ideas?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] A bus ticket out of town only cost $35.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] To get the truth about my father's credit card, my mother went straight to the source... her friends.
Vanessa: Credit card?
Rochelle: Yep.
Pam: And you didn't know anything about it?
Vanessa: Mmm-hmm. I know this one woman who caught her man lying about his height.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] His height?
Rochelle: His height?
Vanessa: His height.
Pam: Yeah. He had shoe lifts. [Rochelle laughs]

Malvo: So the question is, where's my chain?
Chris: I don't have the money for a chain, and I don't know where to get one.
Malvo: They're generally found around necks.
Chris: Well, maybe I can get you something else.
Malvo: Nah. I want a chain. You know why?
Chris: No.
Malvo: Two reasons. A, since my most recent parole, I'm limiting myself to Class A misdemeanors and three, nobody needs a chain. So I'm actually doing people a favor by taking things that they don't need.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You could argue with his math, but not with his logic.
Chris: All right, I'll get you one.
Malvo: Oh, I know you will, or else I'm gonna have to commit a Class B misdemeanor on you, and you don't want that.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He was right, considering a class B misdemeanor is cockfighting.

Greg: Look, I know you don't want to do it, but you got no choice. You're gonna have to snatch a chain.
Chris: You know what my parents'd do to me if they found out I'm a chain snatcher?
Greg: So what about Malvo? You just going to go back to him tomorrow and say, "I don't know where you get your chain, but you're not getting it from me"?
Chris: I can't do this. I don't know anything about chain snatching.
Greg: What's there to know? The directions are all in the title. You see a chain, you snatch it.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I couldn't help but think, if I did actually snatch a chain, something would go wrong.
[fantasy: Chris nervously approaches a man wearing a chain on a street corner:]
Agent: Freeze! FBI! Show me your hands! Get on your knees now! We got you now, you little chain snatcher. Frisk him! Make sure he got no chains on him. You want to get away? Don't try to move.
[later, in a court room]
Judge: A jury of your peers has found you guilty of chain snatching. I sentence you to death by electric chair.
Rochelle: Boy, I ought to beat the legs off of you! You better take him to the chair! [sobs]
[later, Chris is in the electric chair:]
Chris: Did the governor call, yet?
Guard: No, my man, but check this out. I gotta pick my brother up at 12:00, so if you really don't mind, why don't we just go ahead and do this, all right? [Chris scream as the guard pulls the switch]
[reality: a man tries to snatch the chain off a young woman, who fights back]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Better him than me. Feels good to be right for a change.